I put a lot of time and very little effort into this.

Hey ladies, it's Thursdays and on Thursday we're teddy bear doctors!

OH MY GOODNESS I'M LISTENING TO NOAH AND THE WHALE RIGHT NOW AND I ACTUALLY THINK  HAVE ACHIEVED NIRVANA. Don't you hate when you find a new band that you absolutely love, and then you find out that they've already broken up? That happens to me a lot. Oh gosh, I sound like such a hipster. I hate hipsters with their Starbucks, and ascetic tumblrs, and their unoriginal originality. Anyway, moving on.

I'm going to reply to your posts now.

Grace: A piece of me died along with Gilbert Blythe.

I can't even.

Laura: I have no explanation for the shower curtain, okay? I've stopped asking questions, okay? This family is too frickin' weird for its own good, okay?

Mercy: Oh honey.

I wish we lived closer so could go to your house and make you tea and watch netflix in our pajamas in a blanket fort. But unfortunately I can't do that. So I have to resort to using gifs of various Supernatural characters hugging one another and hope that you will be able to feel the sentiment.

So, like Mercy I've been thinking about the future a lot lately. This is not a particularly normal thing for me, because well, I don't spend an awful lot of time thinking about real things. But for some reason these last 2 weeks I've been thinking about my future. For the last, probably 4 years, I've wanted to be a teacher. But as this year has progressed, I've become less and less enthusiastic about that particular career path. I like kids. I do. But I think I might actually die if I had to spend all day with them. So I've been casting around trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I know I want to do something involving english. And I'd love to study philosophy, but you can't get a job in it. And I love history. And politics fascinate me, but I'd hate to work in them because of all them because of all the silliness that goes on. Then I was like, what if I became a lawyer? You literally get paid to argue. But more than that, it incorporates everything I enjoy. There's so much to learn in law. There's so many different kinds of law. Yeah, it's really competitive and I'd have to deal with a lifetime of lawyer jokes, but it's an interesting job that helps protect the rights of the citizens of this fine country.

Who knows what the future hold. Maybe I will be a teacher. Or the worst nurse in the whole entire world. Or maybe Peter Pan will finally get his act together and take me to Neverland, and I won't ever have to become anything at all. I'm still holding out for that last one...freaking Peter.

My mind will probably change six thousand times between now and next week, but that's my current plan.

There's this great Noah and the Whale (holy crap I'm so obsessed) song that goes along with all of this.

I love them so much, I can't. Anyway, this song leads into a question: where do you see yourself in 5 years? I feel like as a teenager, you have adults constantly throwing tons of advice in their direction, so much that it's hard -for me at least- to be anything but over-stimulated. But one piece of advice that I've been actually been able to process, is that it's good to set goals. So what I want to know is what is one of yours? Do you have any? I don't mean, like curing cancer or ending the unrest in the middle east (not that those are bad goals, and if that's what you feel led to do then you should do it), I mean like I don't know. Maybe you want to be happy. Or maybe you're goal is to just be alive in 5 years time. My goal is...oh crap. I asked a question and now I don't even have an answer to it...I guess I just want to have my life in some kind of order. I want to feel put together. A little more put together than I feel now. Because I wouldn't really be myself if  was put together...

Anyway, I have stuff to do. Who am I kidding,  have 3 hours to waste on Youtube before bed.

GRACE DARLING DEAREST! YOU ARE THE SINGULARLY MOST CHILL PERSON I KNOW AND I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR POST TOMORROW!

Gurl please. -Rose?

HOLY CRAP THIS IS THE 300TH POST! And we did nothing at all about it...oops...

I'm not really sure anymore

Good evening girls, it's Wednesday. 

I couldn't chose which one I wanted, so y'all get both. 

I'm gonna reply to your posts now..

Grace- I don't wanna talk about your post. Its too perfect but way too sad auuuugh 

Rose- your post was so gify I almost didn't know what to do with it. But it was beautiful, nonetheless. 

Laura- so you're back with JJ then????

-Segway-

http://youtu.be/7L8GsjVrtKM

Soooo recently I've been thinking about being 16, and Grace and Laura I'm sure will laugh at this, but it's just so weird... 

When I was younger, I thought that by the time I was sixteen, I'd have a job (ok), and I'd have a boyfriend or having boys ask me out, or at least actually be talking to boys... I thought I'd be driving, I thought I'd be able to do whatever I want, whenever I wanted... But it really isn't like that. 

I never thought that I'd be going to a high school of the arts, that I'd not really care about boys or their opinions of me very much at all, that I'd gotten over being constantly sad and lonely, or that I'd have  scars that still hurt to think about. 

I thought I'd be wearing tons of cute clothes every day, instead of bumming around in pjs half the time, and dresscode the other half.

I didn't think I'd have a dog I'm madly obsessed with, but also hate. I thought I might still have my childhood cats, or a few of them. 

You don't realize how quickly things change until you think about how your self from just a few years ago, thought of yourself now and see how much different things are. 

When I first started acting, and got that thrill from being on a stage, when I began my journey as a little thespian, I thought that was it. I thought I was FOR SURE becoming an actress, that it was my life calling, and I was finally done with changing "what I wanted to be when I grew up" every few months. 

And now that I've spent two years at Ghaa, I've realize how much I love acting, but also how much I miss other things. I miss writing, I miss music, I miss animals. I LOVE animals. I want to help all the animals in the world find better homes, and be taken care of. I don't know how I'm going to do that, realalistically, and I'm so scared that two years into college, I'm going to decide that I don't want to work with animals. 

It scares me, and I don't even know anymore. And people say not knowing is a good things, but I don't know what they're talking about because it just scares the crap out of me. 

And I know I basically just talked about this last week, but it's still the main thing in the front of my mind. I feel like, by saying I don't want to go into acting, that I'm betraying a part of myself. A part of myself that's been a HUGE part of my life!! And I don't want to give up acting entirely, I just want to be able to help animals more. 

It just makes me sad and confused and I hate this feeling. 

Augh this was so long and whiny and IM SORRY I'm just gonna go now 

Lol but this is me ^ 

Okay, Rosie, I'll hear from you tomorrow...?

xoxo,

Mercy 

PLOT TWIST!

Happy Tuesday.

    Spring has finally sprung here on campus. I wish I had pictures to show you how beautiful the cherry blossoms look against the clear sunset sky, or how green the grass on the quad is, or how many different shades of blue the sky is, but I can't. All I am capable of doing is appreciating the beauty of God's creation and living out these last two weeks of my freshman year with such natural appeal as my backdrop.

    I can't show you how cute MK's new puppy, Mars, is. Or how I look with the nose piercing I got on Saturday. Or how dressed up Joe will be (in a tuxedo) when he accompanies me (in a dress and heels) to the theater arts banquet tonight, because rumors of our breakup were highly exaggerated and everything is rosy in our garden now. I can't show you how elated I was when I earned a B+ in anatomy this semester. I can only tell you that all of these things have occurred by the grace of God and I feel joyful. These giant plot twists were enough to center and focus me once again in order that I might pass my finals and become an awesome nurse. That is all.

***

    I can also reply to your posts now.

    Mercy- honey dearest, I know you feel confused and depressed and exhausted at the moment, but I'm so unbelievably excited that you are figuring out what you want to do in life and seriously thinking about how to get there. This is a really intense time for you, and even though things are tough, just remember that God has an amazing plan for your life, and He only challenges the children who He thinks can handle the struggle and emerge stronger. I love you, Shirley, and I know you've got this in the bag. And if you ever need to vent to someone, I promise I am here for you, only a phonecall or a FaceTime away. :)

    Rose- your post was extraordinarily long and full of so many GIFs that I almost fell asleep scrolling through it. No joke. Jupiter was the best part, aside from that it was a whole lot of nonsense, much like 79% of what you say.

    Also, what in the Sam Heck is this shower curtain and how did it end up in our only bathroom? I leave for two semesters of college and my family starts tripping on acid, apparently. 

    Grace- GILBERT. NO. JUST--NO. I LITERALLY CANNOT EVEN. HALF OF MY OTP IS DEAD AND I WANT TO LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THE ANNE OF GREEN GABLES BOOKS AND MOVIES BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS.

    Agh.

    I need to drink less coffee.

***

    I have a metric crap-ton of work to do before finals week, so this is where I peace out.

    Mercy, I shall anticipate hearing from you on the Hump Day which is tomorrow.

--Laura :)

I love you, Gilbert

And here we are at Friday once again. The day that requires a blogpost by me. Hmm. 

Actually today hasn't been happy. It's been too cold to be happy. I hate the cold with a passion. I was excited and happy and motivated again and then this week has been cold and awful. It makes everyone (especially Lydia) about a million times more annoying. It makes leaving the house the very last thing I want to do and it makes Grace a very grumpy bear. 

A very perfect picture of me. I couldn't asked for anything more accurate. Even ice cream doesn't sound perfect. 

Anyway Laura, I'm sorry for you loss unless it's what is making you happiest, than I guess I'm happy for you. 

Mercy, I hope you figure things out with The Academy. But if you were home next year, it would be way more fun and so much better for me personally. But don't make any hasty decisions of my account. 

Rose, I think I love your sisters puppy and I've never even met him. 

So we're watching Anne Of Green Gables

Oh I love them. Their friendship and then their romance is nearly perfect. That's what I want to happen to me. Oh well. None of the guys I know are quite as dashing as Gilbert which isn't surprising since he is one of the best characters I have ever read. Because although he has his flaws and he is such a boy, he truely cares about Anne. And he sticks by her through everything. He never gives up on her even though she disses him and runs away from him and finds other guys. Oh how I wish guys could be like that. But oh she doesn't even realize how perfect he is for her. 

So incredibly attractive. And of course we're watching this in his honor but we're not speaking it aloud. 

Anyway, I know this was short but I have other things to do. I'm leaving in the morning because dad and I are spending the weekend in RI and I haven't packed anything. Whatever. That's my life. 

<3 Grace 

Lots of gifs, a cute dog, and a whole lot of nonsense.

Hey it's and Thursdays and

I write this to you while watching To Kill a Mockingbird, and I'm really distracted so I apologize for any mistakes -grammatical or otherwise- that I will inevitably make.

NOW I SHALL REPLY TO YOUR POSTS NOW.

Grace: THE FREAKING SOCIALLY AWKWARD PENGUIN IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL!

So this has ever actually happened to me, as I'm sure you
guessed but it was hilarious so I had to post it.

Also, I anxiously await the day we become YouTube sensations. We can be the Vlogsisters. Well actually, no because that's called plagiarism

Laura: I'm sorry to hear about your misfortunes. I don't know if this will help but here's this gem I found on tumblr:

Mercy: YOUR FUTURE IS BRIGHTER THAN HARRY POTTER'S WAND AS HE CASTS LUMOS, OKAY? AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT.

Crap, we've come to the part of this post were I have to rant about something, haven't we? I don't have anything to rant about though...

You know, every once and a while I'm scrolling down my dash, I like gifs on tumblr in the hopes of working them in a future blog post, but I always forget about them when I actually write a post...so here they are. All the forgotten gifs from deep within the bowels of my likes.

My love life

The kid in the back though.

I really wish I had worked all of those into blog posts, because they would have been awesome.But alas, I did not.

Gosh, I really have nothing else to say...maybe ice cream will inspire me brb.

Oh my God, can I marry Ben and Jerry? Like really. I could eat nothing but ice cream all day and I would be so fat and I wouldn't care and oh my God.

I still don't really have anything to talk about....

I guess what y'all probably want to hear about is the puppy, right?

So, as you all know, but the people who aren't the Foursome don't is, my older sister recently got a puppy.

His name is Marsden, but we call him Mars, and Laura and I call him

He's an Australian Shepard and Rottweiler mix. He's a pain in the neck, but he's pretty frickin adorable, so we forgive him. Living in a house with 2 dogs and an old bratty cat, isn't a pinic, but let's be honest, what is a picnic, aside from well, an actual picnic? There has been an awful lot of yelling and barking in the Backus house lately, but whatever. This dog is pretty freaking cute.

Okay I should go now. Grace I'm looking forward to your post tomorrow!

Gurl please -Rose?

Anonymous

Good evening gurls, it's Wednesday. 

I'm sitting on the couch and watching Little Dorrit, and I'm super tired and in pain... 

http://youtu.be/32BcOxv3wi0 

The website Dottie mentions is the best thing I've ever seen, and I want to subscribe to it, so bad oh my goodness. I need that in my life. 

Okay, I'm going to reply to your posts now. 

Laura: I'm sorry to hear about your misfortunes!! I hope all is well with you soon. 

Rosie: your post was beautiful, just like your face. I am sorry to report that I am one of the many girls who suffers from a faltering level of confidence and it's something I've always struggled with and hate. But I've learned to deal with it/sort of gotten over it. 

Grace: SOCIALLY AWKWARD PEGUIN IS MY FAVORITE! 

       

I've done every single one of those. 

Oh Jesus Christ, it's 10:30 and I haven't even started talking about anything relevant yet. 

I worry too much. I worry about so much. I worry I won't have a good future, that I'll never be smart enough or good enough to make it into college. I worry constantly that I'm making the wrong life choices. I don't even know if I want to go back to the Academy next year and I haven't told anyone because I love it there and I love the people there and my friends but I know I want to work with animals when I grow up instead of being an actress and it just feels so weird when something I thought I've wanted to do for years turns out that it's not really what I want to do, I feel like I'm betraying a part of myself.. I worry that I'm not smart enough to accomplish what I want to in life. I worry so much that my emotional exhaustion has literally caused me to be physically exhausted and I just constantly feel like crying. 

I hate worrying. I worry about worrying and it's sucks. I honestly try to look on the bright side of life and be a positive person and try not to complain but it's so hard sometimes. I don't want to worry anymore. 

Sorry for whining, I just really needed to get that out.... 

It's now 11:30 so I should go...

Rosie, I'll talk to you tomorrow 

xoxo,

Mercy

      For our very own Asian Burrito