And we're back

   Yes it's true. We're back. Like Mumford and Sons we took a hiatus but like Mumford and Son's we're back and it's great and fabulous and very different, I'm sure, but always the same. I definitely needed the summer break and I appreciated it very much, but I am very excited to be back. This past spring was a really stressful one and as I read over journal entries, it's very clear just how overly anxious and paranoid about everything I was. And then this summer happened and although it flew by, I can say that it was amazing. I graduated in a blur of weekends that involved piano recitals, church ceremonies, baptisms, and grad parties. My friends and I looked around in awe at the fact that we had actually survived the four gruesome years called 'high school' and now had the opportunity to do what we actually wanted to. Moving on, my days were filled with work but also beach trips, multiple amazing vacations (where I got to hangout with some of my favorite people of all time), stupid fun days with friends at the mall, or sitting around a bonfire. Then I started talking to a boy and things got emotionally confusing but good. And now we're in September and I don't understand how it all happened so quickly. But hey, time is all wibbly wobbly and I'm never going to understand it so I should stop trying.

   Speaking of time, I can't believe how different things are and how much things change in such a short amount of time. It's so strange that day to day life can seem so mundane and tiring and then you realize that in a just a few short months, things are so different. This time last year I was starting senior year, didn't have a job, could barely drive. My best and closest friends were different from who they are now and I had expectations, hopes and dreams that seem so foreign now. Even just thinking about a couple months ago at the beginning of this summer. After graduation came and went, I was in a place of weirdly happy happiness but such a different happiness from now. I'm still happy, but it's almost not the same. Feelings are weird right now. Lately I've been feeling very little. I have been feeling emotions (obviously) but they have to be very strong, I think, for me to fully see them. Work isn't the best place to have legitimate feelings towards anything, and then when I get home I'm overly tired. I am tired a lot of the time, I know that. But I don't know, I've noticed that I'm very indifferent to a lot of things recently. I need to break out of it because it's just going to get worse come winter time. Although I had a really good day this week where I got to go out to breakfast with the lovely Sara in the lovely town of Simsbury at the loveliest little bakery and bistro called Popover's. And then I was driving home, listening to IU with the windows down and the sunshine that hints at October and I realized that, for the first time in a couple days, I was 100 percent content. It was a really good feeling. I've been trying to feel like that more since that morning. 

this is when Grace ran out of thoughts and decided to move on to the next pre-written part of the post.

Now that it's September, I feel like it's my duty to bust out the ol' favorite mugs and get some tea brewing. I drink coffee year round because, coffee, but tea is definitely only something I'm going to make myself drink when it's slightly cold out, or when I have to do something like study. Full pants are once again an option even though the daily forecasts are still in the 90's, but when you're getting up to drive your siblings to school at 7am, hoodies and jeans are a requirement. Another thing, my two youngest siblings now go to a private school and I'm so happy that I'm not in high school anymore. If I was still in high school, I don't think I would be able to survive with my little siblings going to school. For most high school I hated the fact that I wasn't going to a “real” school and I felt inferior to my friends and peers. Now I really don't care. Part of me wishes I were moving into a dorm room, meeting new friends, and going to classes, and another part of me is overly happy I'm not. The amount of anxiety that could/would ensue is unbelievable. For anyone interested, I found an online program that looks good and I think I'm going to start a class or two there next week. But other than that, I basically get to do whatever I want for this next year. And (finally) that's more important to me than what everyone else is doing.

Anyway, this was ramble-y and little disorganized and dysfunctional, but that's my life. Everything is a little bit different from when we left off in May and everything is a little bit strange. But it's a good strange.... mostly. Also, I'm sorry for the lack of jokes or pictures or anything cool. Wait. I know.

Because I actually like his hair like that. The End. 

Can't wait to hear from all you lovely ladies next week. Have a great holiday weekend. <3