Thursday, May 14, 2015

Children: Cute, Funny, and Criminally Insane.

Well gurls it's Thorsday



I find myself sitting at my kitchen counter, watching my dear mother make a huge pot of meatballs and sauce for the crowd of hungry college kids Laura's bringing over this evening. I feel bad for kids who's parents don't cook them delicious food every night.

ON TO YOUR POSTS!

Grace:

Laura: You get a star for the best Gracie impersonation I've ever seen (read?).


Oh my God, remember the tumblr Moon Moon faze? Good times

Mercy: OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO TRY AND FANGIRL ABOUT THE AVENGERS WITHOUT GIVING ANY SPOILERS. FIRST OF ALL, HAWKEYE. SECOND OF ALL, THAT PART WHERE THAT CHARACTER KILLED A PIECE OF ME. OH MY GOD I DIED IT WAS SO FREAKING PERFECT. Also, we should do that blog tag thing-y next week.

Every Wednesday night since September, I've been helping out with this kids program at my church called Kids Night Out. It's essentially a mini VBS, except much less stressful. I help out with the first grade, who are both adorable and annoying. It's been a fairly enjoyable experience, so I thought I would share with you some of the funny things these kids have said and done over the last 7 months in the hopes to make you smile and also make you never want to have children because, I'm gonna be honest here, I don't want to see any of you pregnant.
One week we were talking about gratefulness so we had all the kids go around in a circle and say what they were thankful for. Most of them said things like "My family" or "Jesus." One girl went on for a minute straight before we stopped her. One boy said, "I'm thankful for video games. And I guess I'm thankful for my mom who buys me video games." Then there was this one kid who said, "I'm thankful.for my Pokemon cards." I asked him if that was all and he thought for a second and was like, "I'm also thankful that I have a thousand Pokemon cards and my sister only has one."
There was this particular little girl who was adorable and also kind of the devil who did a number of hilarious things. Like when she told me I wasn't cool and could maybe be cool if I grew my hair a little longer. Another time she started flat out sobbing in the middle of the lesson because she didn't want to die. One week I spent ten minutes making her stuffed dog a cast out of construction paper and tape because he had "broken his leg."
There was this one boy who was really rude and one time at the end of the lesson, stomped on his bible and told me that "Today was a good day because we didn't pray." And then left and never came back.
There's this really cute little boy who only started coming a couple of weeks ago who went on this huge ramble in group time. He was like, "You know when you're in the jungle and there's huge tornadoes of knats and your dad had to squish them but there still there?" (At least, that's what I think he said, he spoke really incoherently and used a lot of distracting hand gestures) I assumed this kid was just weird and had a huge imagination, but I later found out he was a South American missionary's kid who lived in the actual jungle.

I really can't make fun of these kids though. I thought and did a lot of very silly things when I was their age.

Stupid things I thought/did when I was a child:


  • I thought when you hit your funny bone it was supposed to tickle. And every time I hit my funny bone, I'd laugh even though it really hurt and I was absolutely convinced I was dying.
  • Ben and Annie once convinced me that later always meant 8:30. So when someone said they'd do something later, they meant they would do it at 8:30. Which really upset me because 8:30 was past my bedtime.
  • John once convinced me that I was supposed to be born first, but he pushed me out of the way. I started crying.
  • When I was about 11 and all of my siblings where too old to play with me, I would stand on the steps of the pond and "conduct" the wind, like it was an orchestra. I would talk to the trees and everything.
  • I remember being about 7, I was in the back seat of my friend Kelly's car, and the two of us had a very in-depth conversation about rising gas prices. I could never figure out why her mother was laughing at us.
  • There's this factory downtown, near the library that always had smoke billowing out of it, and me and all of my siblings called it the cloud factory, because we all thought that's where clouds came from. 
  • Laura and Mary-Kate would call Broom-Hilda Water-bucket until I cried. I'm not really sure why this offended me so much, but it did.
  • I listened to the 5th Harry Potter book on tape about once a month for a year or so because I was convinced if I listened to it enough times Sirius wouldn't die.

So maybe I wasn't the brightest of kids, or maybe I had the meanest of siblings...

Well I should bounce because I have things to do.

Grace, until tomorrow!

Gurl please. -Rose

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