I was too busy to write a post during finals week so here's an essay I wrote instead.

“I Didn’t Know Who I Was Supposed to Be…At Fifteen”

            Youth is both an exciting and confusing time in life. Being young means being unsure, testing the unfamiliar waters around you in order to experience new things. It is through these experiences that we grow and develop throughout youth and into adulthood, from the memories we make during the good times and the lessons we learn from the difficult seasons. I consider the song Fifteen by Taylor Swift to be an iconic ballad of youth. The lyrics to Fifteen document the trials and bittersweet reminiscences of the singer’s freshman year of high school, a time right in the middle of adolescence, during which many new or hard choices and mistakes are made. This song depicts how nerve-wracking, yet beautiful it is to be a teenager, from love and friendship and figuring out where you are called to be in life, as well as the transience of all of those things.

            The song Fifteen is very sentimental, as well as relatable for most people who have experienced adolescence and what lies beyond. The opening verse of the song describes a typical first day of high school:

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors

It's the morning of your very first day

You say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while

Try and stay out of everybody's way

These lyrics put into words the nerves felt by most young people when they encounter a new and unfamiliar situation- in this case, the first day at a new school where you hardly know anyone. Part of being young involves being scared. And since the end goal of youth is to eventually exit adolescence and enter adulthood, the only thing you can do is try your absolute hardest to remove yourself from your comfort zone and face what you are afraid of. Only through this process can real growth and maturity be accomplished, as we see towards the end of Taylor Swift’s song.

            Perhaps the most extensively touched on topic in Fifteen is that of love. Anyone who has experienced the highs and lows of adolescence knows full well that much of its emotional turmoil stems from the newly tested waters of romance. In the second verse of the song, Swift describes her first involvement in a relationship:

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car

And you feeling like flying

And your mama's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one

And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends

            This can be interpreted as a typical introductory experience into the field of romance- the nerves, high expectations and fantasies induced by these new and sometimes frightening feelings. While Swift touches on the dreamlike state of a first date, later on she addresses the typical heartache and end of teenaged love:

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday

But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind

We both cried

Swift emphasizes the transience of youthful affection, a harsh reality not usually realized by young people until their first heartbreak. Loving and hurting and growing stronger throughout the process is an integral part of growing up.

            Swift also points out that life does not revolve around dating, that there are bigger dreams to be accomplished and that although first love is temporary, friends are forever. Much of Taylor Swift’s freshman year of high school seems to have been defined from her friendship with the aforementioned Abigail:

You sit in class next to redheaded Abigail

And soon enough you're best friends

Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool

We'll be outta here as soon as we can

Taylor and Abigail unite due to close proximity and a shared feeling of disparity between them and their other “mainstream” classmates. This is an integral part of the typical growing-up process, when you find people you click with and are brought closer together by shared desires for companionship. Most adolescent friendships stem from a need for human contact and security. Although these reasons seem foolish and superficial, they can actually produce some of the most beautiful alliances, because people who experience things together –such as youthful awkwardness, social isolation, emotional confusion- tend to emerge stronger through such a process.

            In the end, Fifteen paints a poignant picture of the bittersweet memories and confusion of youth. In one of the last lines, Swift says “I didn’t know who I was supposed to be, at fifteen.” This especially makes note of the general uncertainty of adolescence, its bumpy road along which much laughter, tears, heartache and tough decisions occur. These things are the building blocks of youth, the stepping stones onto which we must climb in order to mature and take on the world as full grown adults. Being young, although unpredictable and usually difficult, is the adventure which prepares us to become positive contributors to society as soon as we enter adulthood.

Mercy, I'll here from you tomorrow.

--Laura :)