In which a month of emotions throws up all over the blog post.

Over the past month, I've come to realize that I am a workaholic. Maybe it's because it's all I have to occupy my time these days, or maybe it stems from watching both my parents work endlessly my entire life. Either way, it has consumed me. I like to believe it's because I actually do care a lot about the business I work for, and it may be partially true, but I think boredom and loneliness also contribute to my 40+ work week.
I reread your post, Laura and I think I'm also scared. Actually, I know I'm terrified. I want to travel and I want to do cool things with cooler people. I want to not worry so much about money, and not always be the responsible one.
I hate being the responsible one all the time. I know that in actuality it's who I am and I'll always be this way, but for once, I wish my best friends didn't look at me as the mom friend. I know this sounds really whiny and ridiculously stupid, and "'wow it must be so hard to be good, Grace your struggles are soooo real." and I really do realize this, but I don't know. It's hard to explain. Like, how can I talk about things I'm going through with people who are coming to me to tell me all about how they're currently screwing up their lives? Ugh. I hate myself. I hate how I can't actually talk out my problems, especially with the people who love me the most, and want to know the most. I just feel so stupid, or silly, or embarrassed and things never come out the right way.
Do you even know the amount of time I spend talking to myself? It's weird. I talk out my problems and I solve my problems, and I give myself pep-talks, or sometimes, on exceptionally dark days, I remind myself how much I really suck. But really. It's all day every day that I have to talk things out to myself. It's like, I'm the only one who will really listen without giving an opinion until I'm 1000% done with whatever needs to be said. And even then I don't always give advice, usually I nod and smile and say, "i don't know man."

Honestly guys, I've turned into an emotional mess over the past six months and I hate it. Something has come over me and I am terrible at life and I don't know how anyone puts up with me. I sometimes wish I could just take off and have some space from everything. Work, family, friends, boyfriend.


In some positive words, the spring weather is making me feel better about some things. Like the fact that there are beach days ahead and that ice cream is now socially acceptable to eat multiple times a week. And I can wear dresses more often. And my birthday is now only 4 months away. And it's on a Sunday so I wont have to work, and I can do what I want and appreciate life for a moment and I guess tonight was a terrible time to write a blog post. But I think I say that every month. So I guess nothing has changed.

Laura, if you actually read this, and if you actually made it all the way through this than I applaud you and officially knight you as the best person on the internet with the most patience.
Hopefully you'll write next week again.
<3 Grace

Also I know this is the worst blog post of all time, but it was necessary to just write and cry and listen to Mumford and let someone know a little bit of what goes on in my head.

So I guess posting on the blog isn't a thing anymore.

Hi.

I'm in a terrible mood right now. I really shouldn't be posting because I might write something regrettable. Guess we're just gonna have to wait and see right. At least I am taking some time to post though unlike others.

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I have less to say than I thought. It's as if the words have left my mind and soul. I see this continually everyday when I fail to journal in the evenings, or i don't take notes at church despite bringing pen and paper. Even texting people sometimes is too great of an act and I desperately state at my phone waiting for them to start a conversation but then being unable to continue once they do. The fact that I've thought about this blog post everyday this week and am finally getting around to it on Saturday evening. Good job Grace. Round of applause. 

I kind of hate it. I haven't written anything for fun in a long time and I miss it. 

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The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is fabulous. Laura and Rose were so right. We need to watch it together next time we see each other. Speaking of which, I can't even remember the last time I spent time with you girls. It must have been awhile ago but it could've been recently and I just can't remember, that tends to happen a lot. 

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The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. It's what I'm reading right now and it's weird. Good but weird. It seems very Japanese to me which might be an offensive statement to some. Sorry. But it's the truth. Anyway. I'm trying to better my life and my bedroom has come to the point of making me anxious so I figured maybe I need to figure something out and make sown changes. We'll see how that works.

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Okay. The bed calls to me and sleep beckons. 

Goodnight 

<3 Grace 

Life I guess

Friday night and the lights are low, looking out for a place to best watch Netflix.
The anthem of my month pretty much. February has been tough. Surprisingly tough. I spent too many evenings not being able to make myself move from bed, and I cried too many times and I spent too many thoughts negatively towards myself or towards the people I care about the very most. I couldn't, and didn't want to, do anything of significance. It was rough. But I talked it out with two of my best friends. I lay it all out on the table and maybe started yelling for no reason and they sympathized in their own ways and related to my own selfish issues and then they helped me start to get myself out of the nasty hole I dug myself. The simple act of a 'I hope your Monday is amazing' texts are what mean the most.
And although I try to blame all those tears and utter hate for the world on our terrible friend Mama Period, this week when she actually did drop by, has been by far the best week of the month.

I've been working out. Endorphins.

In other news. I'm obsessed with New Girl. Nick is my soul animal and Jess is my soul mate and the amount Hannah and I have been texting about it is embarrassing.
I spent $20 on books after reading Rose's post about We Were Liars.
This song makes me cry.
I babysat last weekend for 3 days and 2 nights and I don't ever want kids.
I've been really good about the food I've been putting in my body and I've been drinking green tea.
I've been reading The Bible more often and trying to remember to pray and things are looking up.
I applied to MCC for their Psych program for next fall.
Spring is coming and I can feel it.
I think the thing I've been learning recently is that life is hard and stupid and complicated. And it sucks. But it's also just life. And learning ways to deal in a healthy manner is the best thing you can do for yourself. Find things that are not only going to make you happy, but are going to give you inspiration and motivation and excitement. Find things to do that will have a lasting impact on your mood. And find the people who can help you feel excited about life.
I know these aren't new ideas but as I was rereading through your girls posts from the month, I saw a similar thread running through them all and I realized that maybe none of us having been doing our best lately. So lovelies, I hope that in March you all have the greatest of months and that maybe things start looking up. I know this is short, but I'm a procrastinator, what can I say? New Girl is calling to me.
I love you all immensely
Laura, we'll hear from you next week
<3 G

I still hate titles

Hey everyone,

I think I like this only posting once a month thing. It's kind of nice. Takes off the pressure and everything. I really miss the days when we wrote letters to each other every week and sent jam packed envelopes covered in scrawling, loopy written inside jokes all over, hopefully making the mail carriers wonder or laugh over us. And I miss when we had the time and energy to post every week on our very assigned days, and I especially miss when we could write fan-freaking-tastic round stories in November but since none of those things can happen right now (there is hope for the future), I'm happy with only posting once a month.
 So let's see. What have I been up to since last time I wrote, I hear you asking. Well, for starters, it's now 2016. In fact, January is almost over. Weird, but true. It's kind of awesome though because we've had only one real snow "storm" and we're almost into February which makes me believe in a winter as short as myself.

 But if your strife strikes at your sleep
Remember spring swaps snow for leaves
You'll be happy and wholesome again
When the city clears and sun ascends

Favorite song to listen to at this time of year. Obviously.

Which reminds me, I've been fighting January depression as best I can. All I do is work which is awesome because it keeps me busy and my mind preoccupied during the day, but it's when I get home and it's cold and I'm beyond tired and I lay down for a nap. Then I wake up and it's colder, and dark (most disorienting thing ever) and I have no motivation to move, and I lay in bed for hours, dreading going back to sleep because I know that I'll just have to wake up again to go back to work. It's a vicious cycle but I've been beating it (somewhat). 

One of my yearly New Years Resolutions is always "eat healthier" which I think everyone always says, but this year I didn't commit to that, and so, it's the only one I've been actually accomplishing. Life is weird like that. But I've been focusing on eating more nuts, seeds, vegetables, less red meat and I've been cutting out dairy altogether (almond milk ftw). So yeah, it's making me focus on something and giving me a sense of self worth, I guess. Sara and I are also considering going to the YMCA together, so Laura you should be proud that I might start working out.

Some of my other New Years resolutions were- 

read more. 

write more. 

draw more. 

play more piano and guitar. 

None of those things have happened yet, but that's okay. I knew they wouldn't but I desperately like making lists.  

Anyway. I feel like maybe I'm boring you. I'm boring myself. So goodnight from me and I can't wait to hear from y'all in February and you'll hear from me again in 4 weeks. 

<3 Grace

*insert Adele pun*

Hello all you lovely people who might be reading this,

Since the theme of this week has more or less been, here's what's happening in my life, I thought I'd throw up a ton of useful information for you gurls too.

I obviously have not been doing any official schooling these past couple months which has been equal parts amazing and horrible. I say this because, not having any school is obviously an amazing thing. On the days I don't work, I can sleep as much as I want, go out shopping, play with the dogs, sit on the couch and watch six episodes of Parks and Rec, or sell my soul to NaNoWriMo for an entire month. So clearly, there's nothing bad about that situation. The horrible part is that, in reality, I can't just waste an entire year doing nothing. If I'm not seriously considering school, then when next September rolls around, everyone will be going back and I wont due to the lack of colleges I've applied for or the lack of classes I've signed up for. And it's freaking stressful because not only did I spend all of last year stressing out about school, now I'm spending this year stressing out as well.
Another crap thing is the way people will look at me  when I tell them my plans. Everyone at work is always asking me where I go to school and when I tell them I'm taking a year off, everyone thinks it's an open invitation to state their opinion as harshly as they feel necessary.
Okay hold up, there have been a lot of people who respect what I'm doing, and have encouraged me and told me how a gap year was the greatest decision they ever made, but about 60% of people just start on a rant about how I'm the equivalent of a high school dropout. Thanks bye I don't care what you think because you're a stupid turd pile. And have a nice day.

 

So yeah, gap years are fun and stupid at the same time. Sort of like high school.

But, I started a Psych course online this past week which is hard because it's a lot of information but it's been really good and I'm fired up to learn again (the same way I always did during the first week of school in September). I've been looking into the Psych program at MCC and I'm definitely going to be applying there because college is number one on my New Years resolution list for 2016.

 

Moving on, I am now Empress of the Deli at work which results in more hours and having minions to do my bidding.

 

Let's see, what else?

The Boy is still a part of my life and that's great. As much as I make fun of him, he is sort of the greatest because he takes my teasing like a champ and teases me equally as much. He pushes me to be a better person while simultaneously acting like the real five year old that he is and it's an amazing feat that I'm not sure just anyone could accomplish. He keeps me laughing and pursuing my dreams and he's always there to talk to.

 

Anything else to add? Oh yeah, I had a dream this morning that Laura was texting me all about how we are all so distant from each other and we don't know anything about each other anymore. Which I guess is partially true. I have felt distant from you guys lately.

Like Rose said: "and we were the Fearsome Foursome, and like, we still are. You guys are my best friends and you always will be but it's just different now, you know?"

It is different. Not purposefully different, life just happens. We're all busy and doing different things and we don't have the opportunity to spend as much time with each other as we have in the past. And as maybe sad as it seems, it's okay because life progresses and we can't change that. Things are never going to stay the same as they were during those two weeks where the Fearsome Foursome first came into reality. As much as we draw on the aisle runner, and as many imaginary friends as we might create, things aren't going to be the same. But I do miss us and I can't wait to hangout for my mom's birthday and make some new jokes and spend quality time together and eat cake. (I'm always excited for cake though so that's nothing new)

 

Okay, well, this is getting long. I probably could keep going though. I really didn't have a ton to do this morning so writing forever to you guys seemed like a good idea. But I should probably do some laundry and go Christmas shopping for some special people. But I hope you are all doing splendidly. <3 Grace

 

hey

Hey gurls. Sorry I didn't post yesterday. Since Rosie didn't post on Friday, I figured it probably wasn't a huge huge deal. Also I had a babysitting job and I was tired way too early and went to bed as soon as I got home. But I'm taking some time while Simeon plays Wii with Ethan to write to you girls. Because I love y'all. I'm also using Internet Explorer because Chrome isn't working so that's the level of dedication I have for you.

Mercy, I'm also happy the round story is over. Let's just say it wasn't our finest moment. But we tried. And that's the point of NaNoWriMo and NaShoStoWriMo.
Speaking of NaNoWriMo, I would just like to say that I won. I actually passed 50,000 by about 500 words. Not bragging or anything. Okay maybe just a little bit. asdfghjkl; I still can't get over it. I had some people read the first chapter (some biased people but who cars about that. Not me.) and they both said it was good. So even though I hate it with a passion, I still feel really awesome about it.
November was a terrible month but whatever. #noregrets

I hope your months of November were better than mine. But, who cares about November anymore? Certainly not me. Because now it's December and clearly the superior month. With all the lights, Christmas music, cold weather (which I actually hate) and gift buying secrets, one can't help but feel excited. I really like planning on buying people gifts and then finding them the exact thing I know they'll love, although shopping for the boy is a little more stressful than anything I've ever done before.

Anyway, we're going to see Krampus tonight, I'm a little bit excited and a lot bit terrified but Ben Wyatt. So enough said.

He's my actual bae.

 

 

Okay, well sorry it's short. I've got a movie to go see. Also, who needs anything else but that face right up there?

Okay goodbye. You know I've kind of gotten to the point of not expecting any posts from any of you and you girls should feel the same way about me.
<3 Grace


In which Grace writes the longest round story post in order to hopefully straighten things up and head towards an end (only one week left, ladies) and because she had images and ideas in her head which she wanted to write down and because she's tired of her NaNo novel and needs a distraction and another, better, way to get words in. It might be considered cheating but she doesn't think so.

You don't even understand how poop I feel about this story. 

Becky awoke first, very disoriented. 

"Where are we?" She asked.

"We're in-"

"We're in the Land of Misfit Stories, I think." Rutherford landed softly, but still Jesse and Danny were jolted awake. They slid off of Rutherford's back and looked around. "I've only heard stories and legends of this place, but I have a feeling that it is exactly where we are. I wasn't flying in any particular direction, in fact, it doesn't make sense to end up in a completely different place altogether since I was mostly flying in circles, but still we ended up here. As if this place came to us." He swung his head around to see in every direction, and the three friends ducked. 
"Okay Rutherford, but what exactly is the Land of Mistfit Stories?" Becky asked. 
"Exactly what it sounds like. Something about you three isn't right. Your stories are misfit. They don't belong, they don't make sense, they don't work together. Unfortunately, you're stuck in this place with all the other misfit stories unless you can somehow work out a way to figure things out. Make sense of it all, and find a resolution to a current problem that you're facing." Rutherford's knowledge seemed to be great on this topic and the three children knew to take him seriously. 
"But I still don't get it." Becky cried in exasperation.
"Beck, it really does make sense though." Jesse said. "Think about it. We started out last night just trying to solve somethings about my moms death. Then we bump into a ghost. A freaking ghost." He looked around at all of them, wide eyed. "None of you seem quite as weirded out by this as I am." 
"Oh no. I am." Danny nodded. "I'm just very good at hiding it."  
"Okay so then after that, we have a large cat bus jump out of the bushes."
"Hey!" Danny interrupted again. "Lamrag is a dear dear friend. He also happens to be my personal chauffeur as well as bus so he's a two in one deal. Don't talk about him like he's a crazy freak show. Okay so maybe to someone who's never seen him before, he could be considered a crazy freak show, but both of you have met him. You two have even ridden inside his furry stomach." Danny pouted. 
"Moving on." Jesse said doing nothing to comfort Danny. "After Lamrag mysteriously disappears and aids us in absolutely no way, you, Becky, agree to talk to your father about magic. You hardly ever speak to your father about anything, much less a toxic subject between you two. And as soon as we breach that, we figure out that the ghost girl who promised to help, is an evil enchantress who tortured your father who happens to be four-hundred and thirty-nine years old. And also a murderer. Did I mention how weird this all is??? I'VE EATEN DINNER WITH YOUR FATHER. I'VE GIVEN HIM FRIENDLY HANDSHAKES, I'VE INVITED HIM TO MY HOUSE. HE HAS COME TO OUR SCHOOL ASSEMBLIES. Begrudgingly of course, but still. The dude killed someone!!!" Jesse threw his hands up in the air having made his point clearly. 
"You think I don't understand this thoroughly enough?" Becky said quietly, looking at her feet. She wiped a tear from her face and sniffed. 
"Oh hey, Beck. Look that's not what I meant. I'm just overstimulated right now." He took a step forward and wrapped her in a hug as she quietly cried on his shoulder. "I didn't mean to rub it in. I'm really sorry that this happened and I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now." 
"Yeah I know. I'm sorry too." She wiped her face again. "I think we're all a little overwhelmed. 
Danny looked on awkwardly. He was a very empathetic person and he was always there for his friends whenever they needed him, but he sometimes felt like he needed to give Jesse and Becky some space. He never knew if maybe there was something between them or not. They never acted like yes there definitely was, but he never wanted to be the friend to get in between two people in complete ignorance to a situation that might be at hand, but Becky pulled him in for a group hug anyway and he was eternally grateful. 
"Anyway. Enough of this. Rutherford, you said the only way we could leave this place was to figure out our story and sort it out, right?" Becky asked her dragon friend. 
"Yes. That is correct." Rutherford said wisely. 
"Alright, then. That's what we're going to do."
"Well, how are we supposed to make that happen?" Danny asked quizically. 
"You should be able to find many other misfit stories lost here on the island. So, in order to change your story, you can learn from mistakes they've made. Learn lessons and things not to do that maybe they don't see for themselves. Maybe learn forgiveness for a terrible father. Or learn how to vanquish an evil spirit once and for all." Rutherford fell silent. 
"We should let this guy out more often." Jesse whispered. "His brilliance is exceptional." The other two nodded in agreement.
So off they set. The island they were on spread out ahead of them in a flat grassy plane. Wind gently swept around them, blowing their hair and clothes. The night was ending and dawning in soft gray, yellow light all around them and Becky felt as if she were in a dream. They soon stumbled upon other people, other creatures, other stories. There were large animals with multiple heads, characters upon characters from every different possible walk of life and story. There seemed to be a lot of characters from popular fanfictions, all of which Danny knew and was very surprised and excited to meet. 
"I've read so much about you." He said excitedly, shaking yet another Dean Winchesters hand. "That one was very messed up." He mumbled as they walked away, "But the writing was brilliant." 
After some time, they happened upon a beach. As they walked down the soft sand they saw a small little man sitting in the sand. He was old, with classic wizard robes on and a long white beard that piled up in his lap and spilled out and mingled in the sand, so great was the length of it. His feet were buried in the sand, his eyes facing out into the water.
"Hello." Becky said kindly as they neared him.
"Oh hello." He squeaked. "How are you fine people? Oh. I don't seem to recognize you. You must have just landed here on this island of ours. Please, sit down and tell me all about yourselves."
"Oh, well," Becky sat down in the sand next to him and the boys followed suit. "we're just some regular kids trying to find our way off this island actually." She knew better than to give out a huge amount of details to strangers, even if he might be a story book character.
"Oh please. I know you kids have a tragic back story. Something has gone wrong somewhere. I want to hear all about it. It's always interesting to hear new and exciting stories even if they don't always make sense."
Becky, Jesse, and Danny exchanged looks. Then Becky took a deep breath, they were potentially stuck on this island forever, what would it matter if they told him their story. Here goes nothing. She thought. And then she told him all that happened.
"And so, Rutherford told us all about the legends of this land. We hope that maybe if we learn how to fix our story, we'll be able to leave."
The old man nodded. "You children have quite a story. Almost as strange as mine. I am, the first draft of Merlin in any sort of work of literature. I'm afraid the author didn't get everything right on his first try, it's all quite strange. I've had lots of time to think about how strange it actually is. And compared to some other stories here, it definitely is a doozy. That's a word I learned from someone else. I didn't originally know it. Anyway, here is my advice whether you want it or not." He took a deep breath. "Becky. Your father maybe someone who scares you. And maybe now you know his tragic past, he scares you even more. Which is normal and perfectly expected. But if he's treated you well so far, he obviously cares and loves you very much. He hasn't hurt you yet and he did say he wasn't proud of what he did. So forgive the old chap. Magical folk are plain weird. They're different from everyone else, literally. But take some time to grieve and then move on. Forgive him and together you two can defeat the ghost girl. With the magic I know you posses, I am Merlin after all, you two can vanquish her for good, banish her back to the land of the dead where she was destined for, and move on together. I hear that family therapy is very good these days.
Jesse, you also need to move on. I know you loved your mother very much and you love her memory. But how are you ever supposed to go anywhere in life if your still holding on and going back to things that happened long ago. They're out of your control and there is nothing you can do to bring your mother back. Maybe visit her grave once a year, bring her flowers and honor her memory, but preforming rituals, scaring your friends, and trying to be a detective is not the best way to go about this all.
And Danny. Don't feel so sensitive about Lamrag. It is kind of weird." Merlin then took a deep breath of air as if he were to impart one more piece of valuable information, but then he fell silent. He gazed out over the sea once more, his eyes glassy. The children were silent.
"Whoa." They heard from behind them. They all turned and there stood yet another Dean Winchester, this time a Draco Malfoy stood next to him. (Becky blushed. She actually knew this fanfic) "The legend says that the great Merlin only imparts wisdom once every one thousand years." Dean's eyes got big. Then him and Malfoy quietly headed off down the beach again and disappeared in the distance.
The three children exchanged nervous yet excited looks.
"So now what?" Danny asked. "If we have this great wisdom, how do we put it to use."
"We could try to fly away now." Jesse looked questioningly at Rutherford.
"Your guess is as good as mine." He said, lowering a shoulder for the three friends to climb aboard

I know this doesn't say 'to be continued' but it showed up when I googled 'to be continued gif' and I couldn't just ignore it. Anyway. Hope you all have wonderful weekends. I hope to see you soon and gnight everybody. 

Sorry this is late.

"Sir Ernest Michael McGunnigal XVII, after what you did to me, I've come back to extract my revenge."

Everyone in the room turned and stared at Sir Ernest Michael McGunnigal XVII. But he stayed silent. 
"Dad!" Becky yelled at him. "What is she talking about? What is anyone here talking about?" She looked around in confusion. 
"Oh you don't even want to know what this man did. The flirting and the laughing. Taking me on dates. You know once upon a time I was young, attractive, wanted for my incredible spells and potions. Mostly potions. I had perfected the art of a potion that would give the drinker, eternal life. I invented it, you see. I'm brilliant beyond compare." 
Realization began to dawn on the young children's faces. 
"Putting the pieces together now, aren't we my dears." She cackled and suddenly Becky could see how old maybe this ghost was. Maybe not in physical years but this girls mind was eternal. Becky knew powerful wizards and she could now see the same type of power behind Taylor's eyes. Becky glanced at her father.
"So what did he do." 
"I asked her for it, nicely." He responded. 
"Yes he did." Taylor said, throwing her nose up in the air.
"So... what's the problem?" Jesse asked uncertainly. 
"I'M NOT FINISHED YET." Taylor screamed at him. 
"When Taylor didn't give me what I wanted, well I flirted with her just like she said. I told her she was brilliant and I probably wouldn't be able to make the potion for myself anyway." Sir Ernest Michael McGunnigal XVII said, sitting down at his desk. "Now Beckindorf, I'm not proud of what I did. I see that now, am I satisfied with the results, maybe. But proud. No. But I'd rather you hear it from me rather than that witch." He pointed a menacing finger at the ghostly girl. 
"But you fell for the flirting trick?" Danny asked Taylor, his mouth hanging open in surprise. 
"Well, yes. At first I did. He was rather good at it. I wasn't the most popular, despite my intense magic skills. But he did all sorts of things. He never mentioned the potion again. I thought he had simply moved on and was now honestly interested in me as a person. He played the part oh so very well. Until I found out one day." 
"And then she made me her slave." Sir Ernest Michael McGunnigal XVII. He looked up, hatred burning in his eyes. A dark cold anger. "She pranced around, made me do everything for her. Used me as a personal test subject for all her potions and curses that she made up. She tortured me and then entranced with love spells, and thoughts of immorality once she had finalized the potion." He fell silent for a moment and Danny, Becky, and Jesse turned to Taylor to pick up where he left off. She was looking down at her floating feet and didn't say anything for a moment. 
"And then he killed me." She said so silently they almost didn't hear her. Becky, Danny and Jesse exchanged looks. How is anyone supposed to respond to a comment like that?
"On the eve of our intended wedding night. He came up behind me... and slit my throat. Just perfectly so I suffered for a couple seconds and could see him laughing over my dying body." 
Sir Ernest Michael McGunnigal looked up at his daughters shocked face. Becky was having a hard taking controlled normal breaths. They were coming in short gasps and she could feel her heart picking up speed, her head getting light. 
"I... I don't know what to say." She said also almost too quietly. 
"You don't have to say anything." Jesse put a comforting arm around her shoulder. 
"So how old are you really?" Becky suddenly asked, stepping out of Jesse's embrace and towards her father. 
Sir Ernest Michael McGunnigal XVII gave a smile, an evil glint in his eye....

Alright, that's all I've got ladies. Sorry this is late and not very long. My weekend was bad. <3 Grace

round story round story round story round story round story

I've been having a really hard time following this story. I think I have too many stories swirling around my head currently. So I'm sorry if this doesn't go as planned or make any sense at all. But here goes nothing. 

"Oh I'm just fine. Thanks for asking." Said a voice from behind Danny making them all jump...

They all turned around and were shocked and frightened by what they saw. 
"I am shocked and frightened by what I see." Danny said and Jesse and Becky nodded in agreement. 

She was sitting on a bench behind them but was she really? Or was she behind the bench? It was hard to tell with this one. Something about her form seemed off.
"Who are you?" Jesse asked. 
"What are you?" Danny asked and Becky elbowed him in the ribs. 
"I am a ghost of the past. My name is Taylor Saint-Clair and as I said, I'm just fine. I appreciate you asking." She gave a small smile. "Not many people ask me how I'm doing." She had large large eyes. It was almost uncanny how large her eyes were. Jesse, Becky, and Danny just stood there looking at her. "Forgive my terrible manners, I so rarely talk to anyone anymore who actually cares about manners that I seem to forget about them. Who are you?"
Jesse, Becky, and Danny just stood there looking at her. Slowly, very slowly they started to back up, then, one after the other, they all turned and ran as quickly as they could back the way they came. Danny was letting out an ear splitting screech of fear. They ran down the street, feet pounding the ground, hearts pounding in their ears, adrenaline pumping in their veins. 
"Wait.... don't go!" Taylor the ghost floated after them. "I really didn't mean to frighten you." She quickly caught up, her face dripping with ghostly tears. "Stay with me please. I haven't seen the living in so long." She grabbed a hold of Jesse's arm, but her fingers slipped through him, and he was left staring at her, a look of horror on his face. 
"What do you want with us?" He screamed at her. 
"What do you want with me?"
"Nothing!" Jesse replied. "What on this earth do you want with us?" At this statement Taylor started to sob heavily. 
"I'm not even a part of this earth anymore." She cried, wiping her nose on the back of her ghostly hand. "Why would you stage the question like that?" 
"I... uh.." Jesse looked around for support. 
"You were the three that invaded my graveyard. You were the three that walked over my grave. You were the three that woke me up tonight." 
"I'm just trying to solve my mothers death." Jesse pleaded with her.
"Yeah, show a little respect to the dead." Danny said. They all turned and looked at him. "What?"
"I AM THE DEAD YOU IDIOT." Taylor screeched. Danny fainted right away and Taylor turned back towards Jesse. "Excuse my shouting. I feel like sometimes it's the only way for me to get a point across. You said you were trying to solve your mothers death, tell me, who is your mother?" 
"Vanessa Cake." Jesse stammered. 
"Are you kidding me?" Shock spread over Taylor's pale face. 
"Why would I kid about who my mother was?"
"Of course, you're right. I'm sorry, like I've said, I sometimes forget manners. It's just, I know her."
"You what?" Becky and Jess asked in surprise.
"Yeah, we were grave mates. She was buried so close to me, you start to get to know each other pretty quickly when you've got all eternity together. Of course, I always called her Vanilla. ha. Vanilla Cake. It was my favorite dessert in life." 
"But then, surely you can help us." Jesse insisted.  

Blech. I'm done with this writing thing. I hate words. I hate the english language. I hate my life. I hate my fingers. I hate my computer. Blech. <3 <3 

this may not have been posted until the wee hours of Saturday. Whoops.

Hey it's finally Friday. Finally. This week was going to be great and then it was just sort of average and I had too many overly tired days and too many grumpy evenings and too many coffees and yet never enough coffee. I'm sure you've all had those weeks. But today is finally Friday and I didn't have to get up for anything and was able to sleep in for the first time in multiple weeks which resulted in not even thinking of getting up until 10:30. And now I can do whatever I want today which is going to be a Chick-fil-a trip with the favorite little sister, Mercy, and getting my Halloween costume finished up over at The Bloughs and then watching Sweeny Todd or Phantom of the Opera with Mercy tonight. Or maybe just playing the Lego Harry Potter Wii game all night. Depending on how we feel when we get to that time of night. And tomorrow I get to see the boy and other cool people and sleep over at Amanda's and I'm happy I'm not at work and I don't smell like a sandwich and I don't have to be anxious about health inspections or grumpy customers or sick coworkers. I'm happy today.
Just like Mercy and Laura were happy. (and Rose too. Though I may have forgotten to read her post. Jk I did read it because I'm nice and definitely still not bitter.)

OKAY STORY TIME.
I woke up this morning to my phone ringing and I was a little bit worried it was going to be work but then it was just Wallgreens telling me my photos were ready for pickup. I really like printing photos and sticking them to my wall or in my journal rather than just having them on my phone. Anyway. I feel back asleep (just because I could) and had the strangest dream.
So I was at work and I was working the grille with Mercy and our boss Don and there was a very long line of customers. And suddenly there was a new part of the grille with new fryers and stuff but everything was really really tall. And since I'm a short munchkin person, this was a bit of a problem. But whatever I just stood on my tiptoes. So then I was making fries for this one couple and suddenly one of the french fries stood up and turned into Tom Riddle.

And I turned to him and I was like "Tom. NO. Not again. Go back." so he turned around and kind of hung his head and turned back into a french fry. And yeah. That was interesting. I'm not really sure what inspired that dream or why french fry Tom was making so much trouble. But whatever. 

OKAY MORE STORY TIME.... COMING SOON! As in next week. As in, November starts on Sunday and so does NaNoWriMo and, as tradition says, we write an epic round story. Anyone else excited? I know Mercy is. We freaked a little bit at breakfast this morning. Let's do a horror story. (I'm a little bit hyped up on horror as I talked about in my post last week. Slasher Girls and Monster Boys freaked the crap out of me. I cried over it. Rose. You need to read it.) Or maybe a contemporary. Or sci-fi or paranormal or maybe we should write something form 2nd person POV or maybe we could write a biography about PF Chang. I don't know. I'm really excited. I'm also excited about my NaNo project because I have ideas and I want to write them before I forget them, but I'm also really nervous because I only have parts of ideas and I'm obviously nervous they're not going to carry me through 50,000 words. Whatever. NaNo problems.

K well. That's all folks. I hope everyone has a splendid Halloween or October 31st if Halloween isn't your thang. Gnight everyone <3 Grace 

The One When Rosie didn't Post and I don't Let Her forget it.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, our dear Rose Backus has failed to post.... YET AGAIN. Am I bitter? Pshhh. Am I upset. Of course not. Am I missing her sarcastic rants like crazy? Not at all.

Just kidding. I'm very bitter, very upset, and missing her sarcastic rants more than anything. ROSIE. COME BACK PLEASE. I MISS YOU.

Mercy and Laura, I enjoyed both of your posts a lot. Mercy's had a lot of words and Laura's had a lot of gif's and that's a lot of backwardness but it was nice. And I'm happy that you two both have love and dedication for this internet home of ours. *glares at the awkward 4th member of the blog*
Hey guess what happens next week.
Halloween.
I'm excited. Halloween is exciting. I'm dressing up as Alice in Wonderland and Simeon is going to be The Mad Hatter. I'm a tiny bit jealous that I'm don't have plans of staying up and watching movies all night, or hanging out at home with the mother, passing out candy to the small witches and warlocks that come knocking on our door throughout the evening, but hopefully it'll be fun. What are you Backus people doing for the Halloween? My guess is Rose won't be blogging.
Oh Mercy, you have no idea. (Well actually you do. We're basically the same person) I'm so excited for this holiday season. It's crazy that it's already here and that we have barely over two months of 2015 left. I already have a Christmas present for Laura (I've actually had it sitting in my room for about a month) and I know exactly what I'm getting for Rose.  I'm so excited to make cookies more than necessary and start stringing up lights everywhere, and wearing sweaters and leggings and singing along to Michael Buble at the top of my lungs. I'm excited to sit in front of the fireplace and watch Charlie Brown movies about Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm excited to watch decorations go up all over the place, in people's front lawns and in the mall and at church and I'm excited for ice skating and sledding and finding new ways of drinking liquid chocolate. I could go on forever. But I'll stop. Just like Rose stopped blogging.

Okay. So since it's been October and, you know, Halloween and all, I've been trying to psych myself out a little bit. So Mercy and I saw Crimson Peak in theaters last Sunday. It was my first R rated movie at the theaters and as much as I loved it, I sorta didn't like it. I know that doesn't make sense, but it does to me. It was so good and beautiful and I loved it and yet it was so dumb and it wasn't that scary and I wouldn't advise you to spend money on seeing it on the big screen. Maybe one day we'll watch it on The Foursome couch (except probably not Rose) and eat bruschetta and laugh at the silly graphics but love Tom Hiddleston because, obviously, his character is just misunderstood and he's not as twisted and gross as the movie tries to portray him. Anyway, I've also been reading scary books. So right  now I'm about halfway through The Madman's Daughter by Megan Shepherd and it's decent. It definitely scared me last night while I was babysitting and the boys were in bed and I was alone in a different, quite, dark, house. But today I picked it back up and I can see some definite flaws. Whatever. And I have a book at the library, Slasher Girls and Monster Boys, that's waiting for a pickup. It's a collection of short thriller and horror stories and I'm excited to jump into that and pee my pants. I'm not excited to pee my pants, but I'm excited. You know when people have had too much caffeine and they get all jittery and nervous and annoying, that's exactly what my brain is like while typing this up even though I don't think I've ever actually been in one of those moods from too much caffeine. Just too little sleep.

Anyway, I have to pee. And this was all one ramble-y one take post and I should follow Rose's example and just stop. So gnight girls. I miss your faces and I hope you're all doing splendidly. I know Mercy and Laura are because I actually hear from them once in awhile.
<3 Grace

Listen to this beautiful song. 

I'm a lazy blogger today.

Today is cold. My fingers are feeling that "we don't want to type right now." if you know what I mean. I really adore autumn (as I've said multiple times before) but I really hate the cold and I'm really upset that winter is hastily approaching. Whatever. Can't do anything to stop it.

So right now, I'm snuggled with Lydia and Ethan and we're home just the tree of us and we're watching Narnia: Prince Caspian. It's fun. We're fun people. We're all so busy these days that we don't spend a ton of time together, and when we do, someone is usually crying over some sort of homework. Or someone else is half asleep from working 30+ hours that week. It's crazy. I've decided that the word 'crazy' is the new word that describes my life. We've moved from 'dysfunctional' to 'crazy' and I'm not sure how I feel about this change. Whatever. Can't do anything to stop it.

So today, instead of trying to come up with my own topic of discussion, I'm just gonna borrow previous points from this week and talk about Andy and Taylor.

Taylor Swift is actually a musical beauty. Her music is magical in the way that so many people can relate to it in so many different ways. Her music is brilliant in the way that Ryan Adams can do a full album cover and make it into something new. Her music is so much fun in the way that one can listen to a song and cry, and then have a dance party to the next track on the album. Maybe I haven't loved all the musical decisions she's made over the years and I definitely think '1989' was a disappointment after 'Red', but whatever. Can't do anything to stop her. She's so funny and real and I want to go to one of her concerts.

And then there's Andy Dwyer. He is bae. Always. The end.

Andy and April are my OTP. If you haven't watched Parks and Recreation yet, please go do it now. Thank you very much. And you're welcome

Anyway. This is long enough right? Don't need to elaborate on this perfection any longer.
<3 Grace

sick day rambles

Hello girls, it's Friday. I miss all your squishy faces terribly (well not Mercy, because she's sitting right downstairs and I could be with her if I really wanted to.) I'm despretly hoping I don't have to work on Monday and I can go visit you guys, and spend the day, in our pajama's, eating your mom's food, probably watching Harry Potter or something long overdue because, let's be honest, do we ever do anything different? 

Ah this week has been so long and slow. I feel like it's never going to end. Tomorrow is supposedly Saturday, but do I really believe that? I'm not sure if I do. Time is weird, you know. 

I am basically in love with their relationship. 

Laura, cheers. 

Mercy, I love you.

Rose, I love Halloween. 

No but seriously, Autumn is my favorite season. The cooler air (not cold. Let us just clarify here for a second. I do not appreciate cold weather. I can handle cooler temperatures. But nothing that is classified as 'cold') and using candles. I have a little bit of an obsession with candles and listening to music and writing (read: tumbling) in my room by myself. It's really peaceful and calming and usually that's exactly what I need. It's hard because sometimes I feel like I need to be spending time with the family because we really only get evenings together now that school has started, but I really like alone time. I also like music from way back when. Preferably the 20's-50's. Any old time-y music is beautiful. I wonder if anyone is going to be listening to Downtown by Mackelmore (my current guilty pleasure song) in 100 years and think 'dang. I wish everyone listened to music like this.' I don't know. That's a really interesting thought. We'll see. Well actually. We'll probably be dead. But someone will be alive then. Unless... Jesus comes between now and then. Weird. You know sometimes I think that I'm not going to live until Jesus comes back, and then other times I'm sure that I'll never live to be an old and wrinkly lady because Jesus will have have come back long before then. And the suspense is almost agonizing. Again, time is weird. That's actually been a main theme of my life recently. Time is weird and people are crazy.

Okay, I have a slight headache (The whole family has been sick this week and it's annoying) and I think I need to go snuggle with the dog and read a book or two. SPEAKING OF WHICH. GHOST BOY BY MARTIN PISTORIUS IS A WONDERFUL BOOK. PLEASE GO READ IT. 

Okay, see you guys on Monday <3 Grace

I'm hungry.

Good evening girls, it's Friday. It's raining. Hunter Hayes is playing on Spotify. I just finished the 5th day of work this week. I get to see the boy tomorrow, it's finally October, and I'm happy. Life has been freaking stressful lately but at the same time, it's been good. It's almost as if even though things are simultaneously piling up and falling down around me, I have a sense of peace that I can only attribute to our great God. He is marvelous.
Laura, I loved your post. It was beautiful. And I'm so so happy for you as I've said multiple times during our texting conversations. You are one of my top favorite people and I look up to you in every way except in the actual physical way because, let's be honest, we're both shortcakes. But that's okay.
Mercy and Rose. I'm disappointed in both of you. I would give you the most sincere of punishments except I'm lazy as I told Rosalita last night when she confided in me about not posting. Just know that I shake my head in shame at both of you.

So ladies, I've come to the conclusion that boys don't suck quite as much as my middle school self might have thought. Yes they can be rude, selfish, and the littlest s***'s on the planet, but then again, females can be the same way. I've come to decide that everyone needs to find happiness in their own way and if another human being can do that for you, why should you be ashamed of it? I understand that bragging or maybe even just talking too much can come across as annoying or overbearing which is why I keep things lowkey here on the internet (also I have trust issues with every creepy web user and I don't want to face any sort of breakup on the internet.) but I thought I did need to put it out there that a certain person of the male persuasion is making me happy and I'm not resenting the whole entire world anymore. Our dear friend Quincy who we all know and love a lot wrote on her amazing blog a good while ago about this in a much better way than I ever could. So here. Read. Enjoy. But basically, we tend to bash and shame relationships when posted about on social media. You know. You see those Instagram posts of the couple holding hands or the Facebook timeline posts and you roll your eyes, thinking of how disgustingly happy they must be. I do it. I mock every couple picture one of our friends posts (but mostly because it's all he posts.) but like, if he, as a 19 year old guy, has the guts to only post pictures of his girl, why shouldn't I be happy for them?
One of my favorite couples I know are constantly posting pictures of each other which are gorgeous and always have a ton of likes, but they also will post on each other's Facebook walls the sweetest notes or comments. Just to let the other one know that they're thinking about them. I hope that I can have that type of relationship someday. I guess what I'm saying is, my perspective has been changed. I know why it's changed and I know how it has changed but those things aren't necessarily important. I think in this media age, we should be promoting healthy relationships in a positive way on the huge platform we have access to. There are so many toxic relationships everywhere. I for one know a very good deal about that. There is also so much negativity everywhere on social media. It takes about one YouTube video to find hate. And one website can bring up a whole host of blog posts full of cruel comments. I get that this is ramble-y and maybe sorta rant-y.. It's almost midnight. What can I say? Healthy relationships are a good thing, if it's a romantic one or not. We should not be the sarcastic, cynical witches that we are, and hate on anyone's happiness.
Mercy, you might hate me for this post. You might roll your eyes in disgust and know that I've succumbed to one of "those girls" but if you do, realize that you didn't understand this post and count this as your punishment for not posting at all this week.
Can't wait to hear from possibly one of you, maybe more, next week <3 Grace

World Change happening at globalgoals.org

Hello best friends, sorry I didn't post yesterday. We went to The Big E and spent an awesome day there. I wish Rose and Laura had been there...... c'mom guys. How did you miss that memo? 

Rose, I'm obsessed with your post. Something about it made my soul happy. Obviously that just points to how much of a white girl I am. 

Mercy, you're my favorite and my best and don't you forget it. 

Laura, I'm proud of how short your post was. Also I'm immensely happy to see that you're doing better and your profile picture on Facebook gives me life. 

Okay news flash. Apparently the important leaders of the world all got together and decided on some important things that need to happen in the next 15 years and it really excites me. 

http://www.globalgoals.org/

Obviously (if you read anything off that link) these are really big goals. Really huge intimidating goals. Almost too much to think about. Ending poverty in all it's forms? Ensure universal access to affordable, reliable, and modern energy services? Achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls? These are *in Donald Trump voice* huuuuge goals. But it excites me. Because if even one of these things could come to completion, it would be outstanding. Change can happen, guys. And we might be alive to see it. We might be able to help that change come about.  So check out the link. Watch their video (Tom Hiddleston is in it and if that's not motivation, I don't know what is.), spread the word and let's watch these things happen. 

Okay, I've got things to do today though. Like make my bed. That's something important that needs to happen. I will be amazed if it does happen.

Peace out girl scouts <3 Grace

newest favorite quote

In love with Fridays. In love with Tom Hiddleston.

see the beauty of the world you are in now instead of wishing you were in another

A wise Youtuber said this to me through the computer screen as I sat, probably, wishing I could have her life. I have the absolute worst habits of being jealous of other people's lives when mine is probably, definitely, perfectly fine. I see other peoples friends and I wish I had those friends when I'm clearly #blessed with the most perfect group of human beings alive. I see other peoples clothes, style, aesthetic, and wish that's what I looked like to the world even though I've been told countless times that my awkward personality and appearance is adorable and obviously that's a good thing, right? (although sometimes I've frustrated with the 'cute/adorable' labels that everyone has given me. but that's a different post for a different time) Lots of times I look at other families and wish my dysfunctional people would get the memo and then I'm like 'they may be dysfunctional people, but they're MY dysfunctional people' and I'm 100% sure I'm equally as dysfunctional and I usually don't have all my s*** together either. I'm constantly having to remind myself my life, my world that I'm living in, is not going to be perfect. It's not always going to be Instagram worthy and even in those moments, someone else's pictures will always be prettier than my own. It's hard though. It's hard to always be scolding myself not to harshly judge my own life and be jealous over someone elses. Because really, when you get into it, everyone is screwed up. Everyone has issues in one way or another. Everyone is unhappy or dissatisfied with themselves or their life to some extent and everyone has been jealous of someone else at one point. Heck, I could be that person that everyone thinks has it perfectly (you girls know I don't).
Anyway, that's all the thoughts I have on that topic. That was pretty much just stream of consciousness.
I did enjoy hearing from all of you lovelies this week. You know, today mom was talking about going down to your house tomorrow and I've been thinking about it. And it needs to happen so much. Now that Laura is back at the 'ol Backus Homestead part time and stuff, we need to convince the mothers that they desperately need to see each other just because in reality, we desperately need to see each other. 

I have to go watch some Doctor Who with the baby brother though because the freaking 9th season airs tomorrow and I swear, if it is not secretly a memorial to the 9th Doctor, they're doing it wrong.
<3 Grace 

Just some tired thoughts from a tired week

Hello all you lovelies, 

It is currently nine-forty am and I am downstairs all by myself, drinking too strong coffee that my half asleep brain told me to make, and writing to you three. Its grey and rainy outside and I have now decided I'm excited for this fall. Jackets, boots, long sleeves and maybe the occasional scarf. Good vibes right there, people. I really honestly think I love each season differently, but equally. There's almost nothing better than chilly October mornings that warm up to afternoons and then drop to evenings perfect for a campfire. But December is a season all of it's own and February afternoons can be wasted on a perfect book and hot chocolate with no regrets. And of course days that are finally warm enough to step outside in short sleeves in April and May are quite possibly the most freeing days of all. After those times where you spend the whole day on the beach, getting roasted by the sun and touched by the salt water. Nature is a wonderful mystery to me and invoke almost too much feeling. God is good. 

Flash forward to nine-fifteen pm. I'm tired. But I'm happy and I guess that's what matters the most. 

Laura, you are an incredibly strong woman and I love you, most ardently. Your heart for Jesus inspires me and someday you're going to meet someone who's heart for Jesus inspires you and then... beautiful things will happen. 

Mercy, good music. Always.

Rose, you're brilliant. I wish I had put that much thought into biology when I did it. 

Guys, I don't really have thoughts that I can put into words right now. Except that I'm hungry and tired. And a certain boy is due to call me which makes me nervous, as always. Tomorrow is my first day off where I legit don't have anything to do in like 3 weeks. I might be going to NYC but probably not. I still have to ask the mother. But, I also have Sunday and Monday to do nothing but sleep and I can't even tell you how excited I am. Sleeping is a greatly underrated gift from The Lord that some people do not have the proper respect for. 

Anyway, I know this was short and didn't have a point, but this was a long day. I greatly apologize. I'll make it up to you girls next week. 

<3 Grace

Here are some pretty things off my Tumblr this week

********

1. The only thing that could spoil a day was people and if you could keep from making engagements, each day had no limits. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself.
   Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast

And we're back

   Yes it's true. We're back. Like Mumford and Sons we took a hiatus but like Mumford and Son's we're back and it's great and fabulous and very different, I'm sure, but always the same. I definitely needed the summer break and I appreciated it very much, but I am very excited to be back. This past spring was a really stressful one and as I read over journal entries, it's very clear just how overly anxious and paranoid about everything I was. And then this summer happened and although it flew by, I can say that it was amazing. I graduated in a blur of weekends that involved piano recitals, church ceremonies, baptisms, and grad parties. My friends and I looked around in awe at the fact that we had actually survived the four gruesome years called 'high school' and now had the opportunity to do what we actually wanted to. Moving on, my days were filled with work but also beach trips, multiple amazing vacations (where I got to hangout with some of my favorite people of all time), stupid fun days with friends at the mall, or sitting around a bonfire. Then I started talking to a boy and things got emotionally confusing but good. And now we're in September and I don't understand how it all happened so quickly. But hey, time is all wibbly wobbly and I'm never going to understand it so I should stop trying.

   Speaking of time, I can't believe how different things are and how much things change in such a short amount of time. It's so strange that day to day life can seem so mundane and tiring and then you realize that in a just a few short months, things are so different. This time last year I was starting senior year, didn't have a job, could barely drive. My best and closest friends were different from who they are now and I had expectations, hopes and dreams that seem so foreign now. Even just thinking about a couple months ago at the beginning of this summer. After graduation came and went, I was in a place of weirdly happy happiness but such a different happiness from now. I'm still happy, but it's almost not the same. Feelings are weird right now. Lately I've been feeling very little. I have been feeling emotions (obviously) but they have to be very strong, I think, for me to fully see them. Work isn't the best place to have legitimate feelings towards anything, and then when I get home I'm overly tired. I am tired a lot of the time, I know that. But I don't know, I've noticed that I'm very indifferent to a lot of things recently. I need to break out of it because it's just going to get worse come winter time. Although I had a really good day this week where I got to go out to breakfast with the lovely Sara in the lovely town of Simsbury at the loveliest little bakery and bistro called Popover's. And then I was driving home, listening to IU with the windows down and the sunshine that hints at October and I realized that, for the first time in a couple days, I was 100 percent content. It was a really good feeling. I've been trying to feel like that more since that morning. 

this is when Grace ran out of thoughts and decided to move on to the next pre-written part of the post.

Now that it's September, I feel like it's my duty to bust out the ol' favorite mugs and get some tea brewing. I drink coffee year round because, coffee, but tea is definitely only something I'm going to make myself drink when it's slightly cold out, or when I have to do something like study. Full pants are once again an option even though the daily forecasts are still in the 90's, but when you're getting up to drive your siblings to school at 7am, hoodies and jeans are a requirement. Another thing, my two youngest siblings now go to a private school and I'm so happy that I'm not in high school anymore. If I was still in high school, I don't think I would be able to survive with my little siblings going to school. For most high school I hated the fact that I wasn't going to a “real” school and I felt inferior to my friends and peers. Now I really don't care. Part of me wishes I were moving into a dorm room, meeting new friends, and going to classes, and another part of me is overly happy I'm not. The amount of anxiety that could/would ensue is unbelievable. For anyone interested, I found an online program that looks good and I think I'm going to start a class or two there next week. But other than that, I basically get to do whatever I want for this next year. And (finally) that's more important to me than what everyone else is doing.

Anyway, this was ramble-y and little disorganized and dysfunctional, but that's my life. Everything is a little bit different from when we left off in May and everything is a little bit strange. But it's a good strange.... mostly. Also, I'm sorry for the lack of jokes or pictures or anything cool. Wait. I know.

Because I actually like his hair like that. The End. 

Can't wait to hear from all you lovely ladies next week. Have a great holiday weekend. <3 

thinking about life and college

(PSA- I didn't proofread this. Sorry.)

Man: Oh no. You don't know this dog. You don't live with this dog.
Woman: you don't know what my pets are like. My cat eats everything. She ate a pack of cigarettes, she ate my bed.

Man: You shouldn't smoke anyway. The cat's doing you a favor!!

This conversation was spoken in such animated tones that I couldn't help but chuckle and write it down. I wonder if I'm considered creepy for copying down someone's conversation. Would I be creeped out if I found out someone had written down one of my conversations? Probably not. After all, I am a very clever comedian in training except not at all because I hate public speaking.

 

 Rose, I already told you your post was magical but I'll repeat it for all the interweb to hear. Your post was magical.

Mercy, yes. Also, can we just talk about how awful movie Ginny is?

Laura, everything was so much better than I could've written. I'm so bad at processing my thoughts and getting them down on paper. I used to be so much better. Or maybe I just thought I was really good when in reality, it was just as bad as it is now. Which is a shame. Because I miss writing fiction. I miss passing letters to my friends at church. I miss journaling and I miss clearing my head with some words and letters. 

So I just got back from an amazing Ethiopian restaurant with my crew from 30 Hour Famine and I can't get over how amazing it was. I have not had food quite that good in a ridiculously long time. It was so different from American food and yet I loved it just as much, if not more, than everything I've always had and grown up with. And I love that about different places and different people and cultures. I love how different we are and yet how we can connect over things like food, music, or the concept of story telling. 

As I've been thinking about college and what I want to study, the study of Anthropology has really peaked my interest and I've been reading a lot about it. (If I've blogged about this already, lemme know. Or just skip down to the end.) It's so interesting and it makes me want to travel everywhere and see everyone and eat food, and talk new languages, and study different people. I want to learn different ways of thinking and different ways of doing things just by hearing grandparents tell stories of long times ago. I want to learn from countries and cultures that are so much more advanced then our own and I want to constantly hear what others have to say and I want to help and be helped. 

And it all sounds great and lovely and adventurous but very far out there and sorta unrealistic but crazier things have happened. Also I'm only saying it sounds unrealistic because it can't happen right at this moment. 

But you know what can happen at this moment? Bed. Because it's 10:38pm and I'm as tired as a tired monkey. 

Once again, I know this is short. I feel like I've been giving so little to this blog lately. I don't know. I've been giving a lot of effort into every other aspect of my life right now and soon some of it is going to be no more but I don't know how I'll feel after that. I don't like change. 

<3 Grace