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| it's a festive reindeer. Greeting us in the yus voice. Perfection. |
Hello! Hello to our dear and lovely readers and followers, who have stuck with us through thick and thin, and who are here now, in the aftermath of our fantastic Round Story. Hello Grace. I miss your face. And the rest of your wonderful little person. Winter is fast approaching, and I know you'll be hibernating soon, so keep calm and carry on girlygirl ;). Hello Mercy-with-the-hotmazing-hair-and-overactive-tear-ducts. The Doctor regenerates for the 12th time on Christmas. Go cry in a corner now. Hello Rose. I see you practically every day. You know what I have to say to you. *sassy eyebrow wiggle*
Moving on. I was so excited to post today, after Grace's fab conclusion to the round story and the Liebster Award interview. So freakin excited. Take Surprise Party Sue, multiply her times twelve, add Jaquan on Thanksgiving, and Rose when she blows off school to watch Supernatural, and you have a somewhat accurate representation of my level of excitement. I don't think there is an exact reason I can pinpoint as the source of my extremely good mood. Maybe it's because Christmas is in 23 days, and I've started knitting presents and listening to Michael Buble's Christmas album nonstop (ask Mercy about how Santa Baby is her favorite song on that whole CD. I dare you). Or perhaps it is because I will be turning eighteen in -CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? CUZ I CANT- 49 days! 7 weeks from this very day I can get a tattoo, get married, and get a real job (of course I'll only be doing one of those things, but I'm not telling you which one;). It could also be because I figure that within the next couple of months I will make my final college decision from one of the Big Three on my list and be able to sit back and breathe for the first time in what feels like eons.
All of those are happy things. But of course I have to think too hard about them until they are unhappy. Maybe I'm extra hormonal today, or maybe the more you think about it, Christmas is vastly commercial and deviated from its true purpose. Plus, not everyone celebrates Christmas- imagine what it's like to be one of those people and have everyone assume that because it's Christmas time you have to be in the holiday spirit and buy aaall the best gifts or everyone you know will hate you and force yuletide cheer yay-Christmas-ornaments-trees-Santa-holidays-yayyyy. I'm a Christian, and that bothers me to no end. And turning eighteen worries me at times- I'm not afraid, just worried (I am learning now there is a difference). I'll be on my own and have to make adult decisions, and I still look like I'm a middle schooler just waiting to blossom into a hot teenager with a not-high-pitched voice and a sense of style, so we all know I'm going to screw this one up. And college? They say knowing what you want is a good thing. Clearly "They" are all people who are so good at so many things that they don't know exactly what they want to do with their lives. I have wanted to be a nurse since I was twelve years old. I have been dreaming and praying and working on this goal for so long- what if I start my pre-nursing classes and end up hating blood and guts, or failing college science, or getting squeamish about catheterizing male patients? (there, I said it). Also, I find it unfair that literally so many kids have their entire future planned out and handed to them on a silver platter. They don't have to work hard a day of their lives because Mom & Pop will provide them with college tuition and connections and careers. Whereas I have to do well in school to get good grades to get a good SAT score to have impressive transcripts to get enough financial aid to go to the college of my dreams to have the career of my dreams (it's my own fault for falling in love with SHU and then finding out later on that their tuition is almost 50K. It's like when you think you know somebody, and then they drop the bomb on you after you've fallen hook, line and sinker. This is a good life lesson, kids. Look before you leap).
Of course, you girls know me all to well. You know I think too much. I have just as many brilliant thoughts as I have awful ones. And...you know what I have recently realized? That life here on earth is as brilliant as it is awful. Christmas is as joyful as it is fake. Being a grown-up is as liberating as it is stressful. Knowing what you want is just as scary as having five different ambitions, and working to make your dreams come true is certainly worth all the heartbreak along the way.
Do you get what I'm saying? We can't stay on the sidelines of our own lives just because we have to endure the bad along with the good. Every writer knows that a protagonist must face conflict to develop as a character to live happily ever after. That applies to our own lives as well. So, my point is you can be happy with the good, the bad, and the ugly. It all depends on your perspective. We have to fearlessly put our true selves out there, despite all the adversity we will inevitably face, in order to experience beautiful things, achieve greatness, and perhaps find love along the way.
My mood is a really good one today, despite my worries and cynicism and doubts. That was the point of this rather long and confusing post. This was probably a lot to read after 3 weeks of the greatest round story ever. But y'all know me. Half the time I'm a totally laid-back screwball/facial contortionist, the other half I'm anxious and contemplative and somewhat of a Debbie Downer. Thank god for the other three-fourths of the Foursome, for your ability to put up with me for so long (we know it's because I put up with all of you as well). And thank god for this blog, and the ability I have through it to really talk to you girls like I can talk to no one else. I mean, we were awesome before we started a blog, but now we are awesome AND we have the potential to start something great. Thank you, Internet!
Mercy, you should write a short post tomorrow to make up for the length of this one. Kisses,
Laura xoxo
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