Sorry there weren't any GIFs.

My name is Laura and I am an idiot.
    I'm also definitely breaking the "no post on Sundays" rule that I so vehemently insisted on making at the beginning of this year.
    But I had it in my mind that I was definitely posting the week of the 4th. And as usual, my math was off and I feel awful, because I got so annoyed that Mercy and Rose didn't post and then I went and did the same exact thing.
    Almost. I almost did the same exact thing. Except I'm here now.
    I'm going to respond to Grace's post now, because it was the only one written this past month:
    Grace, we all have feelings.
    Sometimes our hormones are coasting along perfectly at homeostasis, our menstrual cycle blissfully inactive, with perfect weather and a good song stuck in our heads and a date with The Cute Boy coming up.
    And other times it feels like every day of this past week has been Monday, and we have eleven adult responsibilities to complete, and we're running on crappy coffee and five hours of sleep and our messy buns aren't cute, they're legitimately messy buns.
    And it's important to know that our bad days are just as important as our good ones. That no matter where you're head is, your feelings are valid even if you want to punch a wall, or just curl up into the fetal position and cry.

***

    I understand being frustrated at us for being anemic in regards to remembering to post. And I apologize. I got so caught up in my ridiculous college life that I forgot to make a priority out of something which means so much to me, which I get to do with my three favorite people in the whole wide world.
    And I've been sad lately. I always get sad in the early springtime- the season changes, school gets more intense, and people graduate. These past four semesters have been a wild and wonderful blur, but I can't believe that I'm halfway done with college. Where did my life go? I want to enjoy every possible minute that I have left with the people I've met over the course of these past two years, but I have so much work to do that I can't do it all.
    I want to watch the sunset on the golf course with Rachel. I want to go to Ferris Acres Creamery with Libby. I want to have that Harry Potter movie marathon that Eugene and I have always talked about. I want to have dinner with Liam and Emily because we've been meaning to all semester but we never have the time.
    But I have classes, and I want to be a nurse, but I'm afraid of that transitional period between college and when I move out of my parents' house, because it's going to be scary and depressing and I'll have student loans up the wazoo to pay off.
    And I don't want to just settle down, have a small army of children and die. I want to see the world and make an impact.
    What if I never get to do that?
    For the first time in my life, I'm less afraid of ending up alone than I am of never going on an adventure to save the world.
    My thoughts are heavy tonight. I've been home for the majority of these past 24 hours, and whenever I spend a lot of time here I am reminded of the loneliness I felt in high school. It presses down on me and makes me tearful. I feel like nothing is ever going to change and I'm always going to live with my parents and never change anyone's lives.
    I have to remind myself that those are only lies. That God has a purpose for my life and it is my job to keep the faith and figure out just what He wants from me. But sometimes, when the sunset is just too beautiful or when I haven't seen my friends in awhile, it gets hard to believe.

    ***

    This post was supposed to be something lovely and uplifting but then it wasn't. And I'm sorry, but it's better than nothing.

    Mercy, I can't wait to hear from you this week.

Love, Laura :)