I am not.

It's Man Crush Monday.
    You all know what this means.

I have recently taken a liking to beards. What is wrong with me?

    Oh, how I love you gurls! And your blog posts from last week.
    Mercy- I can't decide what I enjoyed more about your post, the hotmazing music or the Nick Cage sunrise/backwards cotton candy man GIFs. Anyway, your posts always inspire me to listen to new bands and laugh more and fall evermore in love with Hunter Hayes.

my other #mcm. He's even cute sans beard.

Rooooose- because you post on Wednesdays you are always my Woman Crush Wednesday. Besides Beyonce of course (you would annihilate me if I said otherwise;).

5ever my #wcw

    Also, your post was delicious.
    Grace- the sad thing is the Mr. Bean GIFs didn't even phase me. The rest of your post made me especially ready for summer, and for seeing you again on Saturday! We are going to see so much of each other this summer it should make me sick. But it doesn't. :)

(almost) reunited and it feels sooo good

    So, gurls, you know what I realized? We haven't really talked about...boys...on this blog yet.
    There, I said it.
     Like, why should we?
    Ain't nobody got time for that.
    But should we?
    Idk.
    I don't know. I mean, we all notice boys, it's just that they are almost all a) fictional, b) famous, or c) famous people who play our favorite fictional characters. But it's healthy to have crushes on real boys, and maybe I've started noticing real boys again lately, only I don't want to officially say I like anyone, because I'm leaving (sorta) for a completely new place in the fall, and I don't want to be attached like that in my home life. I don't want to make anything a reality just yet.
    Oh, my goodness. I am a mess.
    I kind of am a mess with boys. They intimidate me. I inherited my mom's radar for skanky-player-guys, which is 80% of the reason I've never really been in a relationship. But, is that a good thing? Is it a good thing that I react like this:

coincidentally I look like the gurl in the bottom picture ;)

whenever I like a guy?
    Whenever I like an actor, I'm so laid back. I stalk their Instagram and talk about him with the Foursome with no problems.
    However, actual boys make me nervous. My stomach explodes whenever I see the man I fancy and my thought process is literally "CRAP ITS HIM AM I EXCITED OR AM I DISAPPOINTED IS THIS A GOOD HAIR DAY WHAT DO I SAY OHMYGOODNESS"
    I'm so composed, so socially comfortable, on the outside, but on the inside I'm an awkward 12-year-old with a bad haircut.
    But, I think I'm outgrowing that. Maybe God is preparing me for a relationship- a somewhat grownup relationship, with a serious guy outside of high school, where boys are usually immature and silly. Not that I know anyone I would date, at the moment. Not really. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel led to like someone, but I don't want to like him at all. Why would God tell me to pursue someone I have never had a desire to date?
    Maybe He knows better. I'm still not 100% on board with this whole thing. Just so you gurls know, I am not in love. I am not. I promise. Love makes me a fruity housewife who giggles and cries at the end of rom-coms. And so far, my wit and sarcasm remain intact, despite the direction my heart is being pulled in. Maybe I am being led to someone I haven't even met yet, maybe I'm missing someone I don't even know. But no matter what, I'm trusting that God's got this. He holds my heart first and foremost, and if I don't feel His approval (or my parent's, or you gurls) over a relationship, then I won't pursue it. And I kind of love that feeling, because I don't have to worry.
    Anyway, I'm sorry that this post is kind of sappy and stupid, but it's one I know I'll read in the future and laugh over. I hope at least my nonexistent love life made you gurls laugh, or think, but mostly laugh. I'm a confusing woman, but I regret nothing.
    So, I guess I wanted to introduce this topic because we haven't really talked about it before. And I'm glad we haven't because we aren't those girls, but I want us to be able to talk about it, because we are young women, and it's okay to let down our guards and be real about *shudders* dating. It's a scary thing, but it is part of what God designed most of us for. There is someone out there for everyone- scary and reassuring, right?
    Anyway, Mercy, I can't wait to read your feedback tomorrow, and see you gurls on Saturday and eat lots of good food and wear cute summer clothes and have fun, like we always do. I promise I won't be an emotional gurl all weekend. I am still my rational self, even though my heart has been running wild on the wings of fancy. I'm fine. I'm actually okay.
    Okay?
    Okay.
--Laura :)