the first half was written this morning. the second half was written this afternoon. can you see the mood change?

I don't know what this means but I found it pretty funny and since Supernatural seems like a reoccurring GIF theme on this blog I thought it fit. 

So I woke up this morning and decided that today was a very, very bad day. I don't know what made me feel that way. Maybe it was the fact that it was raining again, a warm, humid rain that made me want to stay in bed but be too hot to be under the covers. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't have any motivation to get out of bed for the first time in a couple weeks and it made me have no motivation to live. Whatever it was, I was a grumpy blob, sweltering under my covers but refusing to get out from underneath them. I played around on my phone for a bit and even started a blog post but then gave up. Mercy came in at one point and made me mad. She didn't do it on purpose and I didn't even let her know that I was mad, just her being in the room and making noise made me extremely angry and I'm not sure why. Finally I drug myself out of bed, put on my favorite Doctor Who t-shirt, made myself eat granola and yogurt for breakfast and drink a giant mug of coffee and I started to feel better. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I'm not really sure where anything is going in life. I'm so filled with confusion lately and it's starting to weigh me down. I have constant questions in my head at all times, circling around and keeping me from focusing on living. 

Why do really terrible things happen to the most amazing people? 

Will they make the best choices today?

Will he even hear what I have to say? 

Is anything going to change in this situation?

How can they do that to themselves? 

Why do I not understand this?

Should I just tell someone already and get this burden off myself? 

I feel like lately I've been learning how to accept myself and everyone around me. I've been learning how to stand strong and stay happy and be myself and rely on God. And everything was good and I was happy because I felt like I was growing in amazing ways. But then bad things started piling up and I feel like maybe God was preparing me for this time now. Because I'm going to be needing all my wits and all my strength about me to get through and not be crushed. So girls, I'm asking for some prayer because things haven't been the easiest for me lately. I'm not sure exactly how Mercy is doing but I know for a fact that I'm nearly at my breaking point with the things that are on going around me and I need wisdom and strength to make some hard decisions and to be brave and do what's right and be there for people who are being affected even more than I am. 

super awkward and sudden subject change

Ingrid Michaelson has a song called Time Machine. Was she a companion at one point?

If I had a time machine
And if life was a movie scene
I'd rewind and I'd tell me run
We were never meant to be
So if I had a time machine
I'd go back and I'd tell me run, run

That is basically the story of Martha Jones. I can't handle this.

So my original thought for this post was going to be me listing off my really strange habits that I started to think about yesterday. So here goes

Grace's weird habits-
-having trash and weird junk in my bed
-becoming obsessed with inanimate objects
-never finishing books
-eating to much. and then feeling really gross and telling myself to never do it again. repeat every time i eat
-getting up early
-procrastinating and then getting really, really mad at myself. repeat every time i do something
-getting scared to talk to people for the stupidest reasons and at the most random times
-forgetting to eat lunch
-forgetting to put on deodorant at really random days. (don't worry. i remembered today ^.^)

and this is just in case anyone reading this decides they want to marry me, now is their chance to decide not to, or to realize what they're getting into. But what are some weird habits you have?

Laura, I loved your post. I felt super special that you quoted me and so I went back until I found the post with that quote and let me tell you, never ever ever ever ever read through past posts. They are terrible and scary and stupid and innocent and gross. It's like reading through old journals or looking through photo albums or thinking back over the awkward middle school years. Speaking of which. #throwbackthursday
remember when you were obsessed with this song?

or did you hate it? I don't remember. I just remember us singing it a lot. Also, the tiny bit of the music video I watched seemed really weird. 

this commercial seemed like a very Foursome approved advertisement. 

Mercy, as much as you complained about your post, I thought it was really good and I know we talk about that a lot but I do want to tell you that I agree with you. Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I hate all gays. I wouldn't ever stand up as a bridesmaid in a wedding because I don't agree with their views of marriage, but I'll love them because I agree with the concept of love <3

Rose, 

I agree with the whole 'go watch Mean Girls' thing. It's pretty great and Amanda Seyfried is just so dang adorable. but stupid. kind of like me. I enjoyed wearing pink yesterday and texting Laura memorable quotes and it was a thoroughly plastic, mean, stupid, girly Wednesday.

I had something else to say. Oh yeah. HAPPY FREAKING MAY!!! I'm so happy about that. But I have to go dearies. I'm sorry this is scattered. I'm very scattered today <3 Grace