In which a month of emotions throws up all over the blog post.

Over the past month, I've come to realize that I am a workaholic. Maybe it's because it's all I have to occupy my time these days, or maybe it stems from watching both my parents work endlessly my entire life. Either way, it has consumed me. I like to believe it's because I actually do care a lot about the business I work for, and it may be partially true, but I think boredom and loneliness also contribute to my 40+ work week.
I reread your post, Laura and I think I'm also scared. Actually, I know I'm terrified. I want to travel and I want to do cool things with cooler people. I want to not worry so much about money, and not always be the responsible one.
I hate being the responsible one all the time. I know that in actuality it's who I am and I'll always be this way, but for once, I wish my best friends didn't look at me as the mom friend. I know this sounds really whiny and ridiculously stupid, and "'wow it must be so hard to be good, Grace your struggles are soooo real." and I really do realize this, but I don't know. It's hard to explain. Like, how can I talk about things I'm going through with people who are coming to me to tell me all about how they're currently screwing up their lives? Ugh. I hate myself. I hate how I can't actually talk out my problems, especially with the people who love me the most, and want to know the most. I just feel so stupid, or silly, or embarrassed and things never come out the right way.
Do you even know the amount of time I spend talking to myself? It's weird. I talk out my problems and I solve my problems, and I give myself pep-talks, or sometimes, on exceptionally dark days, I remind myself how much I really suck. But really. It's all day every day that I have to talk things out to myself. It's like, I'm the only one who will really listen without giving an opinion until I'm 1000% done with whatever needs to be said. And even then I don't always give advice, usually I nod and smile and say, "i don't know man."

Honestly guys, I've turned into an emotional mess over the past six months and I hate it. Something has come over me and I am terrible at life and I don't know how anyone puts up with me. I sometimes wish I could just take off and have some space from everything. Work, family, friends, boyfriend.


In some positive words, the spring weather is making me feel better about some things. Like the fact that there are beach days ahead and that ice cream is now socially acceptable to eat multiple times a week. And I can wear dresses more often. And my birthday is now only 4 months away. And it's on a Sunday so I wont have to work, and I can do what I want and appreciate life for a moment and I guess tonight was a terrible time to write a blog post. But I think I say that every month. So I guess nothing has changed.

Laura, if you actually read this, and if you actually made it all the way through this than I applaud you and officially knight you as the best person on the internet with the most patience.
Hopefully you'll write next week again.
<3 Grace

Also I know this is the worst blog post of all time, but it was necessary to just write and cry and listen to Mumford and let someone know a little bit of what goes on in my head.

Sorry there weren't any GIFs.

My name is Laura and I am an idiot.
    I'm also definitely breaking the "no post on Sundays" rule that I so vehemently insisted on making at the beginning of this year.
    But I had it in my mind that I was definitely posting the week of the 4th. And as usual, my math was off and I feel awful, because I got so annoyed that Mercy and Rose didn't post and then I went and did the same exact thing.
    Almost. I almost did the same exact thing. Except I'm here now.
    I'm going to respond to Grace's post now, because it was the only one written this past month:
    Grace, we all have feelings.
    Sometimes our hormones are coasting along perfectly at homeostasis, our menstrual cycle blissfully inactive, with perfect weather and a good song stuck in our heads and a date with The Cute Boy coming up.
    And other times it feels like every day of this past week has been Monday, and we have eleven adult responsibilities to complete, and we're running on crappy coffee and five hours of sleep and our messy buns aren't cute, they're legitimately messy buns.
    And it's important to know that our bad days are just as important as our good ones. That no matter where you're head is, your feelings are valid even if you want to punch a wall, or just curl up into the fetal position and cry.

***

    I understand being frustrated at us for being anemic in regards to remembering to post. And I apologize. I got so caught up in my ridiculous college life that I forgot to make a priority out of something which means so much to me, which I get to do with my three favorite people in the whole wide world.
    And I've been sad lately. I always get sad in the early springtime- the season changes, school gets more intense, and people graduate. These past four semesters have been a wild and wonderful blur, but I can't believe that I'm halfway done with college. Where did my life go? I want to enjoy every possible minute that I have left with the people I've met over the course of these past two years, but I have so much work to do that I can't do it all.
    I want to watch the sunset on the golf course with Rachel. I want to go to Ferris Acres Creamery with Libby. I want to have that Harry Potter movie marathon that Eugene and I have always talked about. I want to have dinner with Liam and Emily because we've been meaning to all semester but we never have the time.
    But I have classes, and I want to be a nurse, but I'm afraid of that transitional period between college and when I move out of my parents' house, because it's going to be scary and depressing and I'll have student loans up the wazoo to pay off.
    And I don't want to just settle down, have a small army of children and die. I want to see the world and make an impact.
    What if I never get to do that?
    For the first time in my life, I'm less afraid of ending up alone than I am of never going on an adventure to save the world.
    My thoughts are heavy tonight. I've been home for the majority of these past 24 hours, and whenever I spend a lot of time here I am reminded of the loneliness I felt in high school. It presses down on me and makes me tearful. I feel like nothing is ever going to change and I'm always going to live with my parents and never change anyone's lives.
    I have to remind myself that those are only lies. That God has a purpose for my life and it is my job to keep the faith and figure out just what He wants from me. But sometimes, when the sunset is just too beautiful or when I haven't seen my friends in awhile, it gets hard to believe.

    ***

    This post was supposed to be something lovely and uplifting but then it wasn't. And I'm sorry, but it's better than nothing.

    Mercy, I can't wait to hear from you this week.

Love, Laura :)

So I guess posting on the blog isn't a thing anymore.

Hi.

I'm in a terrible mood right now. I really shouldn't be posting because I might write something regrettable. Guess we're just gonna have to wait and see right. At least I am taking some time to post though unlike others.

------------------------------------------------

I have less to say than I thought. It's as if the words have left my mind and soul. I see this continually everyday when I fail to journal in the evenings, or i don't take notes at church despite bringing pen and paper. Even texting people sometimes is too great of an act and I desperately state at my phone waiting for them to start a conversation but then being unable to continue once they do. The fact that I've thought about this blog post everyday this week and am finally getting around to it on Saturday evening. Good job Grace. Round of applause. 

I kind of hate it. I haven't written anything for fun in a long time and I miss it. 

------------------------------------------------

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is fabulous. Laura and Rose were so right. We need to watch it together next time we see each other. Speaking of which, I can't even remember the last time I spent time with you girls. It must have been awhile ago but it could've been recently and I just can't remember, that tends to happen a lot. 

------------------------------------------------

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. It's what I'm reading right now and it's weird. Good but weird. It seems very Japanese to me which might be an offensive statement to some. Sorry. But it's the truth. Anyway. I'm trying to better my life and my bedroom has come to the point of making me anxious so I figured maybe I need to figure something out and make sown changes. We'll see how that works.

------------------------------------------------

Okay. The bed calls to me and sleep beckons. 

Goodnight 

<3 Grace 

"Are These Allergies or Am I Crying?" A novel by Laura

Hello friends. Hello March. Hello spring(ish)time.

    Today is Saturday, March 5th. I leave for Roanoke Valley, Virginia, with Habitat for Humanity at 5:30 tomorrow morning. How crazy is that?

The Blue Ridge Mountains

    I'm literally going to be HERE.

    This is over 500 miles away- the farthest I'll ever have been from home. I've never seen real mountains before, as I keep on saying...

Current mood: pre-birthday party disappearance Bilbo

    I am so excited and ready and definitely getting no sleep tonight. This is an incredible opportunity to make the world a better place in a beautiful part of the country, and I could not be happier to be part of such a fun and proactive organization.

    I am also aware that my departure will occur in the wee hours of Rose's seventeenth birthday. But I am being an awesome sister by doing two of Rose's favorite things:

1) leaving her alone (for a WEEK, no less)

2) ordering her macaroni and cheese from Mac n Out

I'm the best sister.

***

    Going along with what Grace mentioned in the end of last week's post- The Foursome seems to have been in a funk. Stuck in a really sad version of the Supernatural episode "The Mystery Spot," where instead of waking up to Asia's Heat of The Moment 400+ times and going through the same day over and over again, our alarms are set to Boston by Augustana and we're reliving the same sadness all the time. To quote Rose's favorite pastor, it's like we're all making "Buttprints in the sand."

    Maybe it's the New England winter blues- did you know this is the only real area of the world where seasonal depression actually occurs? Maybe now that it's March we will all start to come alive again. I know that the tantalizing smell of the springtime breeze always makes me feel well, as it blows through the wind chimes on the patio and the familiar warmth of the sun hits my face and makes the pond sparkle.

    Or maybe we're all at that point in our lives where we wonder if we matter. If what we are doing makes a difference. If we're ever going to experience the world, have adventures, love fully, and make an impact.

    I believe that we matter, simply because we exist. God puts everyone on earth for a reason, we just don't always see what that reason is. 

    It can be challenging to remember that I am a difference-maker. A beloved child of my Creator who has destined me for something wonderful. An ethereal soul whose relationship with the One who breathed her into being makes her untouchable by the thorny trials of the mortal world.

    Hold onto the truth that who you are and what you are doing is not a waste of time.

***

    If I had a dime for every time I have wanted to drop out of school these past few weeks, I would be rich enough to pay off my loans, leave college and open an orphanage in the Middle East. I've had disappointing test grades, moments where I've forgotten how to breathe, and terse conversations with my boyfriend. I've also had professors who have sat and cried right alongside me when I've burst into tears in their office because I am the only person telling myself that I won't be a good nurse. I've had a mother who has tirelessly picked me up and dropped me off at school, day in and day out, and always reminded me to eat, breathe, and take a break when needed. I've had an endlessly patient, Godly man who has loved and supported me unconditionally, even when I've been myopic and dramatic and sad.

    Things are getting better. My grades will and are already pulling through. My anxiety will not get the better of me. I have friends who remind me to enjoy a good meal and watch the sunset and to not be afraid of admitting that I'm not perfect.

***

    I've developed this tendency to cry for other people, which is weird. I think it's because I have always had this habit of feeling sad or happy or embarrassed on other people's behalf, and now I've gotten so good at having too many feelings that I just cry for the sake of my fellow humans, because I think that the more tears I shed, the less other people will.

    Basically, I'm insane.

    Plus it's the start of allergy season, so my eyes are already watery 24/7.

    So, I look like I'm a mess all the time, but it's okay. It's just pollen and humanity. No big deal.

    I'll be okay, and so will you.

    I have to end this post and go to a potluck with my Virginia teammates (!!!!!). Mercy, we'll hear from you next week!

--Laura :)

Life I guess

Friday night and the lights are low, looking out for a place to best watch Netflix.
The anthem of my month pretty much. February has been tough. Surprisingly tough. I spent too many evenings not being able to make myself move from bed, and I cried too many times and I spent too many thoughts negatively towards myself or towards the people I care about the very most. I couldn't, and didn't want to, do anything of significance. It was rough. But I talked it out with two of my best friends. I lay it all out on the table and maybe started yelling for no reason and they sympathized in their own ways and related to my own selfish issues and then they helped me start to get myself out of the nasty hole I dug myself. The simple act of a 'I hope your Monday is amazing' texts are what mean the most.
And although I try to blame all those tears and utter hate for the world on our terrible friend Mama Period, this week when she actually did drop by, has been by far the best week of the month.

I've been working out. Endorphins.

In other news. I'm obsessed with New Girl. Nick is my soul animal and Jess is my soul mate and the amount Hannah and I have been texting about it is embarrassing.
I spent $20 on books after reading Rose's post about We Were Liars.
This song makes me cry.
I babysat last weekend for 3 days and 2 nights and I don't ever want kids.
I've been really good about the food I've been putting in my body and I've been drinking green tea.
I've been reading The Bible more often and trying to remember to pray and things are looking up.
I applied to MCC for their Psych program for next fall.
Spring is coming and I can feel it.
I think the thing I've been learning recently is that life is hard and stupid and complicated. And it sucks. But it's also just life. And learning ways to deal in a healthy manner is the best thing you can do for yourself. Find things that are not only going to make you happy, but are going to give you inspiration and motivation and excitement. Find things to do that will have a lasting impact on your mood. And find the people who can help you feel excited about life.
I know these aren't new ideas but as I was rereading through your girls posts from the month, I saw a similar thread running through them all and I realized that maybe none of us having been doing our best lately. So lovelies, I hope that in March you all have the greatest of months and that maybe things start looking up. I know this is short, but I'm a procrastinator, what can I say? New Girl is calling to me.
I love you all immensely
Laura, we'll hear from you next week
<3 G

Okay so maybe I technically posted this on Sunday but at least I tried this time.

It's that time of the month, I guess.

Also it's Saturday. At 10:43 PM. I suck as a human bean. Also, I'm not proof reading this so you're just going to have to suck it, okay?

Same.

First, let me reply to your posts.
Grace, I entirely relate to your winter blues. There's something about the icky weather and icky effect it has on people that just makes February unbearable.

Laura, like so, being an  adult probably does suck. But like, I also kind of don't think adults really exist because like high school never really ends and all adults are children. But that's just me, like personally.

Donald Trump has convince me that adults don't actually exist.

Mercy, I entirely stand where you're coming from. I really just can't stand myself most of the time. Because, like honestly, have you ever heard the shit that comes out of my mouth? I mean really I should really just get my mouth removed because that would be probably be better for humanity. ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FREAKING HAMILTON GRAMMY PERFORMANCE? IT KILLED ME.

AND WHEN THEY WON A GRAMMY JUST LIKE LIN'S SPEECH AND JUST I'M DONE

So, how's my month been, you may ask? It's been good, I might answer. Actually I wouldn't say that my moth has been good. Not to say it has been bad, of course. It hasn't really been a anything at all. Since last I wrote you, not much has happened.
Mercy turned 17 this past Wednesday, which is pretty cool. I hope my dearest, that you had the loveliest of all birthdays! And that your 17th year will be the year in which you grow in your understand of the world and yourself, and I also hope that it is the year that Larry comes out, because I know that would bring you countless joys.

Mercy, as you all know, stayed last weekend, which was so nice. The thing I love about The Foursome is that the is literally no expectations in our friendship. When we hangout, no one is required to wear real pants and the majority of what we do is take naps and just sit in each others presence. Because just being together is enough. And when we do talk, we hold nothing back. We don't have to lie to one another about anything. Our relationship is like coming home again after you've been away a while, and getting to sleep in your own bed. It is safe. It is comfortable. And I don't think I'll ever be thankful enough for it.

This is for all of you <3

Enough of this cheesy nonsense.

I've read some pretty great books in the last month. Well, I've read a couple great books because I have school (read: I require a sloth-like amount of sleep everyday) and literally no attention span whatsoever. So I only read a couple of books this month, but they were all pretty good.
Firstly, Room by, Emma Donnoghue, (which was just made into a movie that is nominated for best picture at the Oscars).
It's the story of a college student who gets abducted when she is 19. The story is told from the point of view of her son Jack, who is the product of the abductors rape. Jack, who is 5, has only ever been in a single room. In his mind, Room is the whole world.
I was expecting it to be like, really depressing and hard to read, because kidnapping and rape are kind of, you know, heavy topics. However it wasn't.
It was just really good and you all need to read it/watch the movie because I know none of y'all have time to read books.

Secondly, I read We Were Liars by, E. Lockhart. I picked it up because John Green had a quote on the back of it and I needed to read some crappy young adult fiction. I went into this book with zero expectations. But I came out of it internally screaming like a legiteral maniac.
I can't tell you anything about this book without spoiling it or making it sound really really shitty, but believe me when I say it was one of the best young adult fiction books I've read in a long time.
And the freaking ending. It has this great plot twist ending that will absolutely destroy you, but it's totally called for.
It was so good. Just so good. You have to read it.

Another good book I  read this month was Speak by, Laurie Halse Anderson but I don't really have time to talk about it because it's almost midnight. It was just really good young adult fiction that you should definitely read. It really made me think.


This month was pretty alright book-wise I guess. Except for when I woke up Friday morning (read: afternoon) to discover that Harper Lee died, which kind of destroyed me. I know it's unreasonable to think  that I would ever get to meet her or whatever, but just knowing that she was alive and could still possibly write another book made me really hopeful. After she published To Kill a Mockingbird she couldn't write anything again and became essentially a hermit. And like, I get that she wrote one of the greatest works of American literature ever, but it still made me sad that she never wrote anything else. I mean, at least she was alive to see Go Set a Watchman published, but I don't know. She was just one of my favorite authors and she's not alive any more. And that makes me really sad. I spent my Friday night watching To Kill a Mockingbird on Netflix and trying not to cry. So that kind of sucked.
Also Donald Trump won the South Carolina primary, which made me lose just that much more faith in humanity.
So that was February.It was...a month.
Write you again next month.
-Rose

what

good evening Grace, it's satuarday.

yes, saturday at 10:46pm. i am THAT lazy.

it's Galentines day!

Grace I have a bunch of Valentines for you bc you deserve them. these are so great, get ready 

i know Nicholas is your one and only true bae so i obviously had to pick out a few special ones ;)



okay i dont know what to blog about so I'm gonna talk about my subtle self-loathing bc why not :)

do you ever just get tired of yourself? like sometimes im just like why mercy why are you so annoying i mean how do you even have friends??? like actually? i guess it makes sense that like 99% of my friends are from the internet bc they dont know me irl so they dont know how actually annoying i am.

I just dont know anymore?? like im not sad anymore or lonely or upset i just dont feel anything? ever? like idk i show so many signs of depression (and anxiety) and i never really thought about it till recently and i feel like i should do something about it but my mom doesn't take me seriously when i try to talk about it so i just sort of leave it alone?? anyway that's neither here nor there.

i just watch friends and eat ice cream and forget about feelings.

okay its literally 12:30 and ive gotten nowhere i need to go right now immediately.

goodnight i love you guys so much

rosie ill hear from you next (this) week??

xoxo,
Mercy

Lamentations and parking.

Hello there, people of earth.

How I feel walking through the hallways of SHU in between classes.

    It's a rainy Wednesday. I would give anything to be sleeping right now, but instead I'm sitting on Eugene's bed (which smells like boy, EW) and eating some almonds (because I don't have time to eat red meat anymore and if you eat enough roasted almonds I swear to Jesus they taste like grilled chicken- with all the protein of steak too!). All I want to do is go home and take a hot shower and maybe cry a little and watch some Grey's. But I have a Habitat for Humanity meeting in an hour and a half so here I am, hanging out in the boy's dorm, avoiding NERF gun darts and watching Gene play silent video games.
    This is adulthood, friends, I swear.

    The thing is, I'm at that awkward part of life where I'm a legal adult but with only half of the responsibilities. I'm a full-time college student who lives with her parents, who co-sign her loans. I drive to school almost every day, but I possess neither a driver's license nor a car (props to Mama Backus for being my always patient co-pilot- side note: today I successfully backed into a parking space without killing any humans. Ten points to Ravenclaw on my behalf). I have a couple of babysitting jobs which pay for food when I'm on campus all day, but my parents don't charge me rent and I don't even pay my cell phone bill
    The moral of this somewhat boring, myopic tangent, is that twenty is weird. I crave so much independence and feel like I'm entitled to it because so many people my age are out on their own and fully responsible for their lives. I'm still in that awkward transitional phase, and half of me is so antsy and ready to move forward towards another season while the rest of me just wants to curl up with my cat and watch Disney movies.
    And I can tell that my faith has evolved considerably over the past year and a half. I've made it more of my own; I possess a set of authentic beliefs which may be a little different from those of my parents and the church I was raised in, but ones I know in my heart to be true. My relationship with God is being lived out to the best of my ability. I have bad days where I have poor self-image and compare myself to my peers and feel hopeless and lonely. But in the midst of this mysterious mess I know my heart belongs to the One who created it and calls me His beloved.

    I woke up this morning hurting, physically and emotionally, and I read these words in the wee, purple, post-dawn light and I felt just right amount of security and comfort. Sweet Bible verses and old hymns and the beauty of nature always remind me that I serve a sovereign Father and He is and always will be good.
    This is where I'm at, friends. Two weeks after I exited the teen years forever and I'm still such an awkward wallflower who says the right thing at the wrong time (or at too low of a volume for anyone to hear). I may look like I have some of my life together, but the reality is that being a grownup means making a lot of mistakes and acting like you're fine when you really just want to punch a wall and stuff your face full of Gushers. It's a balancing act that I am slowly getting the hang of.
    I'm really glad I had the opportunity to post tonight. My week has been hectic and I really needed to stop thinking about health assessment and blood pressures for forty-five minutes and simply reflect. My dear friend Rachel uses the word pause sometimes- whenever I hear that word I think of her. It's important to pause in the middle of this crazy rollercoaster called life, sit back, and acknowledge all God has blessed you with. Developing habits of positive thinking affect all areas of your life, including the relationships you forge with other humans.
    Time for me to unpause, and probably nap before Habitat. Mercy, we'll hear from you next week!
All my love,
--Laura :)

I still hate titles

Hey everyone,

I think I like this only posting once a month thing. It's kind of nice. Takes off the pressure and everything. I really miss the days when we wrote letters to each other every week and sent jam packed envelopes covered in scrawling, loopy written inside jokes all over, hopefully making the mail carriers wonder or laugh over us. And I miss when we had the time and energy to post every week on our very assigned days, and I especially miss when we could write fan-freaking-tastic round stories in November but since none of those things can happen right now (there is hope for the future), I'm happy with only posting once a month.
 So let's see. What have I been up to since last time I wrote, I hear you asking. Well, for starters, it's now 2016. In fact, January is almost over. Weird, but true. It's kind of awesome though because we've had only one real snow "storm" and we're almost into February which makes me believe in a winter as short as myself.

 But if your strife strikes at your sleep
Remember spring swaps snow for leaves
You'll be happy and wholesome again
When the city clears and sun ascends

Favorite song to listen to at this time of year. Obviously.

Which reminds me, I've been fighting January depression as best I can. All I do is work which is awesome because it keeps me busy and my mind preoccupied during the day, but it's when I get home and it's cold and I'm beyond tired and I lay down for a nap. Then I wake up and it's colder, and dark (most disorienting thing ever) and I have no motivation to move, and I lay in bed for hours, dreading going back to sleep because I know that I'll just have to wake up again to go back to work. It's a vicious cycle but I've been beating it (somewhat). 

One of my yearly New Years Resolutions is always "eat healthier" which I think everyone always says, but this year I didn't commit to that, and so, it's the only one I've been actually accomplishing. Life is weird like that. But I've been focusing on eating more nuts, seeds, vegetables, less red meat and I've been cutting out dairy altogether (almond milk ftw). So yeah, it's making me focus on something and giving me a sense of self worth, I guess. Sara and I are also considering going to the YMCA together, so Laura you should be proud that I might start working out.

Some of my other New Years resolutions were- 

read more. 

write more. 

draw more. 

play more piano and guitar. 

None of those things have happened yet, but that's okay. I knew they wouldn't but I desperately like making lists.  

Anyway. I feel like maybe I'm boring you. I'm boring myself. So goodnight from me and I can't wait to hear from y'all in February and you'll hear from me again in 4 weeks. 

<3 Grace

In which Rose roasts the presidential candidates, because she has nothing else better to do.

Okay so it's Tuesday.

I woke up early this morning at 7 and was craving poached eggs so bad that I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and ate breakfast, and finished school super early and had some time on my hands so I decided to start my post. I'm not a person to do things on time or like, at all, but sometimes I get in really productive moods and I like just like can't stop doing things. It almost never happens and usually it's rare to see me in a vertical position at any given, so when these moods come around I try to make the most of them.
Long story short, I decided to start this post now.
Okay, so I'm supposed to be updating you guys on my life, right? I don't really do anything with my life...The Wife got me obsessed with Hamliton and I have done virtually nothing but listen t the soundtrack for the last week. It combines my 3 of my favorite things: history, politics, and underlying gay subplots. It's trifecta of awesomeness some would say. I of course wouldn't say that because I have class. Or I like to think that I do anyway.
I've done a lost of ranting about politics lately. I can hear people getting bored with me, but it just keeps coming out, like word vomit. I can't help myself. Every time I hear the name Trump I go on a verbal rampage about how The Don isn't actually a human being. He's a golden raisin with hair. He is a ignorant, racist, sexiest, idiot who does not need to be the president of the most diverse country in the whole entire world. I don't hate a lot of people actually that's a lie, I hate a lot of people. But I don't hate anyone quite as much as I hate Donald Trump.

The resemblance is striking 

Don't even get me started on Hillary. I mean, I would love, love, love a female president. But I don't think Hillary is the lady for the job. She changes her views every time a election rolls around and, even though she's just about the only candidate with foreign policy experience, I  think she would be a disaster on the worlds stage what with the whole Benghazi thing. Not to mention she has actually referred to the republicans as her enemies and I don't really think America needs a president who is unable to compromise their political agenda for the good of getting shit done.
Which brings me to Ted Cruz. Do you remember that time, maybe one or two years ago when the government shut down? Yeah, that was because of Ted Cruz. He would not compromise. He literally spent 21 hours on the senate floor filibustering because he didn't like Obamacare. I don't know about you, but these are not the qualities I look for in a president. Also, can we talk about the name people like Ted Cruz give evangelical cristians tians? No where in the bible does it give us the right to be arrogant and hateful. But people like Ted Cruz make it look like it does, and I don't like that.
Of course then there's Bernie Sanders. Now I will give Bernie that he has an awful lot of good ideas, (well kind of). However he is a self described socialist and, as history has proved time and again, socialism is a good idea that doesn't really work. Also, Bernie's foreign policy would, more likely than not, be an absolute disaster as he very, very liberal. And he looks like a Muppet.

But at least he's not a douche canoe like all the other candidates. He's a feminist and he supports Black Lives Matter so that's cool. Also he's promising free college tuition and since I'm looking at being in debt for the rest of my life, I'm willing to over look just anything he says or does because I really don't want to bear the weight of soul crushing debt until I can find myself a sugar daddy, ya know? I also don't want to have to find myself a sugar daddy.
Basically, I don't like any of the idiots who are ahead in the poles. Marco Rubio is okay? I didn't expect it to come to this, as I hated Marco Rubio just 2 months ago because he is very immature and a little too conservative for me, but honestly he's not as bad as Ted or The Don. He at least seems to have half a brain. He has basic republican points of view which, aren't so bad. He doesn't seem like such an idiot all the time, entirely.
There's always Jeb! but then again, there isn't Jeb! because this country doesn't really need another Bush this millennium.
There's Chris Christie, but honestly I don't really know any of his views because in every debate I've watched he's just complained about Obama.
Ben Carson blew his chances of becoming president because he's too quiet and logical, and let's be honest America does not want quiet and logical.
Is there anyone else really running for president?
I mean, there's Martin O'Malley. I just know the name and that he's the other democrat. But that's the extent of my knowledge.
There's also John Kasich, the governor of Ohio. Personally, I really like him and agree with the majority of his ideals, however no one knows who he is. He is, in my own personal opinion because of my own personal set of beliefs, the best choice. He's a more liberal republican, who could blur party lines and unite congress and the senate to actually get shit done, but again, no one knows who he is.
This is what I've been thinking about lately. I shit you not. I have spent so many hours in the last month thinking about politics. And talking about politics.

Anyway, that's enough for today.

     ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Okay so it's Saturday and I have nothing else to add to this post.
I know the purpose of these post is to update you guys on my life, but honestly I'm scotch tape: I'm so dang clear of anything I've got to do.
Rice, we'll hear from you next week?
Gurl please -Rose

and peggy

good evening gurls, it's Friday!! 

pretty much me (in my mind) all week

So the break was definitely worth it and I'm going to try and be better at posting this time around. I promise.

But today all I'm going to talk about it Hamilton and you're all going to just have to put up with that. 

SO THIS SHOW HAMILTON it's absolutely brilliant I'm in love with it and Lin-Manuel Miranda and Anthony Ramos and the whole cast in general oh my god and literally I've been listening to the soundtrack nonstop (ask anyone in my family) and I'm working on memorizing every song bc I have no life and that's what i do. 

first off, there's a squad of 4 in it so you know what that means....

So basically in my opinion, Grace is Laurens (the first one on the right in the line of 3) because he's literally so precious and adorable and a sweet cinnamon roll who needs to be protected.

I'm Lafayette because he's my favorite (the last one, far left) 

Rosie is Hercules Mulligan (the black dude in the middle) because he's a boss a** b*tch

and Laura is Hamilton (far right) because... well idk, he's the last one left. Although I could also see myself as Hamilton cuz he's outspoken and stubborn and has no self control (AHEM MARIAH AHEM) 

Then there's also the Schuyler Sisters

In which Grace would be Eliza (blue) bc she's literally so precious and adorable and a sweet cinnamon roll who needs to be protected.

Laura would be Angelica (center, orange) bc she's witty and sarcastic and the eldest. 

and Rosie and I would be And Peggy bc everybody forgets about her and she never shows up to anything (well idk if she never shows up but she's barely in the show at all) 

also can we just talk about how Aham was like, bi??? like actually??? all his letters to Laurens were so romantic, and historians tried to hide the fact that A.HAM WAS BI AND HIM AND JOHN LAURENS HAD A SECRET RELATIONSHIP okay i'm sorry but I ship Lams with everything that is in me and I've never had a ship actually be cannon before so this is a whole new set of feelings for me. 

but anyway yes I'm pretty much obsessed with this show, it has consumed me and I want to see it so bad but tickets are like $300??? at the cheapest??? MMMMMMFLSKJJDSFJLKFGLKAL"KJ anyway 

i love/hate Aaron Burr. his voice is magical honey but i hate him for killing A.ham

remember when Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton had a rap battle?? me too. 

this picture is literally so perfect i cannot deal and LOOK AT LAURENS HE'S SO PRECIOUS I WANT TO HUG HIM

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH MMFKAJSHJ (when Washington is actually the only white person in the whole show. i approve)

Anyway yes, Laura and Grace you need to become invested in this show too because it's absolutely beautiful.. 

UM that's all. I'm almost out of time so i have to go, but honestly I already have a method for posting that's (hopefully) gonna work really well so by my next post I will hopefully have something much longer and more interesting! 

i love you all a lot. 

Rosie, I'll hear from you next week??

xoxo,

Mercy 

New year. Same blog. Different logistics.

And we're back! May the happy-dancing commence.

I looked up "we're back" in Google images and this majestic GIF popped up so of course I couldn't not post it.

    I think the abrupt hiatus was necessary. We all needed a break. Christmas and New Years came thundering down upon us, and I for one was definitely wrapped up in a tizzy of shopping and decorating and knitting presents while binge-watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix, not to mention the onslaught of finals and saying goodbye to college friends as we went our separate ways for holiday break.
    Today is Friday, January 8th, and I -Laura- am posting. I don't believe I have ever posted on Our Thoughts Are Stars on a Friday. But here I am.
    We have established some new rules on this here blog. Rules that seem a little less like rules- more relaxed and achievable, tailored to The Foursome's busy schedules. Starting out this year, 2016, we have some new regulations for the members of OTAS:
1) posting is being reduced to one per week by one member of The Foursome. This is my week, since I always seem to go first, Next week, Mercy can post on any day- no more assigned days, since everyone can't always find time to post before their deadline. We don't want to force anyone to pull lukewarm blog posts out of their butts at 11:59PM on their assigned day, as we have all unfortunately been in the habit of doing for these past few months.
    The concept of posting every week was way more doable in 2013, when we were all in high school, unemployed, and relatively antisocial. Fast forward almost three years, and the story is entirely different. I'm almost halfway done with nursing school. Grace is working and taking college classes. Mercy is juggling performing arts, work, and the increasingly intense workload which comes along with junior year. Rose is handling her last two years of high school while leading middle school youth group students and attempting to read every Kurt Vonnegut novel possessed by the universe. I think it's better that we cut down on posting, giving us more opportunities to set aside time to write creative, meaningful posts which are less rushed and more thought out. I personally feel as though my writing style has changed since the conception of OTAS, like I'm simply blogging to give you a brief update on my crazy life, or as if I'm writing to the vast expanse of the Interweb instead of my three best friends. I have made it my New Year's Resolution to gain back that old sparkle I used to write with, to try to inspire and challenge and change things for the sake of my people, regardless of who might see this post.
2) if you miss a post, you're a cottonheaded ninnymuggins. How hard is it to post once every four weeks? Unless one of us is a werewolf (and didn't tell the other three so we could all become Animagi, how rude) it seems near impossible not to blog once a month. Only under the most dire of circumstances will no punishment be inflicted.
    What punishment, you may ask? I have not thought that far in advance. I'm trying to live one day at a time here, friends. Please bear with me.
3)

    This is a rule for two reasons: one, because this GIF is perfect and I/we just really wanted to use it. And two, because Sundays are for church and resting. We need some structure, and it doesn't hurt to have one day a week without the stress of blogging hanging over our heads, a day to spend napping and watching football and drinking coffee in sweatpants.

Indeed, Richard Griffiths, indeed.

    In conclusion:
    This is my post for this week. Mercy, you're posting between Monday and Saturday of next week, and then Rose, and then Grace.
    On Sundays:

   And until Mercy posts next week:

    I'm sorry, but I found all of these high quality Uncle Vernon GIFs/memes and I went a little overboard because they are all fantastic.
   Bye for now!
--Laura :)

*insert Adele pun*

Hello all you lovely people who might be reading this,

Since the theme of this week has more or less been, here's what's happening in my life, I thought I'd throw up a ton of useful information for you gurls too.

I obviously have not been doing any official schooling these past couple months which has been equal parts amazing and horrible. I say this because, not having any school is obviously an amazing thing. On the days I don't work, I can sleep as much as I want, go out shopping, play with the dogs, sit on the couch and watch six episodes of Parks and Rec, or sell my soul to NaNoWriMo for an entire month. So clearly, there's nothing bad about that situation. The horrible part is that, in reality, I can't just waste an entire year doing nothing. If I'm not seriously considering school, then when next September rolls around, everyone will be going back and I wont due to the lack of colleges I've applied for or the lack of classes I've signed up for. And it's freaking stressful because not only did I spend all of last year stressing out about school, now I'm spending this year stressing out as well.
Another crap thing is the way people will look at me  when I tell them my plans. Everyone at work is always asking me where I go to school and when I tell them I'm taking a year off, everyone thinks it's an open invitation to state their opinion as harshly as they feel necessary.
Okay hold up, there have been a lot of people who respect what I'm doing, and have encouraged me and told me how a gap year was the greatest decision they ever made, but about 60% of people just start on a rant about how I'm the equivalent of a high school dropout. Thanks bye I don't care what you think because you're a stupid turd pile. And have a nice day.

 

So yeah, gap years are fun and stupid at the same time. Sort of like high school.

But, I started a Psych course online this past week which is hard because it's a lot of information but it's been really good and I'm fired up to learn again (the same way I always did during the first week of school in September). I've been looking into the Psych program at MCC and I'm definitely going to be applying there because college is number one on my New Years resolution list for 2016.

 

Moving on, I am now Empress of the Deli at work which results in more hours and having minions to do my bidding.

 

Let's see, what else?

The Boy is still a part of my life and that's great. As much as I make fun of him, he is sort of the greatest because he takes my teasing like a champ and teases me equally as much. He pushes me to be a better person while simultaneously acting like the real five year old that he is and it's an amazing feat that I'm not sure just anyone could accomplish. He keeps me laughing and pursuing my dreams and he's always there to talk to.

 

Anything else to add? Oh yeah, I had a dream this morning that Laura was texting me all about how we are all so distant from each other and we don't know anything about each other anymore. Which I guess is partially true. I have felt distant from you guys lately.

Like Rose said: "and we were the Fearsome Foursome, and like, we still are. You guys are my best friends and you always will be but it's just different now, you know?"

It is different. Not purposefully different, life just happens. We're all busy and doing different things and we don't have the opportunity to spend as much time with each other as we have in the past. And as maybe sad as it seems, it's okay because life progresses and we can't change that. Things are never going to stay the same as they were during those two weeks where the Fearsome Foursome first came into reality. As much as we draw on the aisle runner, and as many imaginary friends as we might create, things aren't going to be the same. But I do miss us and I can't wait to hangout for my mom's birthday and make some new jokes and spend quality time together and eat cake. (I'm always excited for cake though so that's nothing new)

 

Okay, well, this is getting long. I probably could keep going though. I really didn't have a ton to do this morning so writing forever to you guys seemed like a good idea. But I should probably do some laundry and go Christmas shopping for some special people. But I hope you are all doing splendidly. <3 Grace