I don't know

Good morning, gurls, it's Tuesday.

So um.
I'm currently really sleepy and exhausted, because I had a busy day yesterday- a good day, but busy. Not like hectic, just like... I dunno.
We (me, Grace, mom, Ethan, Lydia Ege, and Joy and Joshua Kinsky) all went out to Barkhamsted lake for the day, where I got extremely sunburned, but had a good time, then we came home, ordered pizza and ate that, then awaited Abigail's boyfriend, Anton, to arrive, which he did at precisely 8 o'clock, bringing us paper bags full of goodies (pretzels covered in some sort of toffee-flavored coating, and delicious chocolate-caramel chews) and then we all proceeded to the out-of-doors and sat around the small bonfire Ethan and Joshua had made, where we ate s'mores and asked some ridiculous, and also though-provoking Would You Rather's.
It was all very fun, even though I got marshmallow and melty chocolate all over my hands and face and legs, right after I'd taken a shower, and even though the fire was small and Millie was eating rocks and nearly choking on them (it's okay, she didn't die.)
We laughed and had fun and it felt like summertime and we stayed up late watching Brain Games (after the fire) and Joy and Joshua got to sleepover and yeah.

I guess socializing isn't too bad sometimes.

I don't even know why I just told all of that, maybe because I have no clue what I'm posting about but oh well.

Grace- your post last week was truthful and emotional (surprise!) and I really liked it, and I want you to know that if any of your friends stop talking to you or are just being mean, then just forget them because they don't deserve to have someone as amazing as you in their life and just ignore you. That's stupid and selfish of them.

Rosie- I don't even know what happened with your post... I don't even know if you actually talked about anything... there were like, no GIF's. And no ranting. I was extremely thrown-off.

Laura- I thought your post yesterday was adorable- I know you're going to do amazingly at your new job and in school and- gurl. you are just gonna go far in life, trust me. You're amazing. The end.

I totally get where you're coming from though, when you say that you don't know if you're being the same person around the people at work that you around the people at home or church or whatever.
Because I struggle with that too- I feel like I act so differently around my friends at school then I do with my friends at church, or my family.
I never thought I would care about what other people thought of me, but I really do. I want so much the approval of my friends at school that I do things and say things that seem to be "cool" in the now, or whatever.
And yeah, I still do things and my friends will be like 'what the heck' and I'm like 'sorry not sorry.'
But it's so hard for me to freely express my faith at school because it's just so not normal and not a lot of kids I know there have a faith like me.
But then it's cool, cuz I have friends who are atheist or something, and they know about my faith and they have no problem with it (looks at Grace and mouth's 'YOU.')  but it's weird because even though most of my friends know about my faith and are really accepting about it (that is why I go to the best school in the world because all of my friends are so non-judgmental, it's amazing) I still act so differently around them just so I can fit it.

IDENTITY CRISES' ARE REAL.

Okay I'm not really in a mood to go any deeper than that, so yeah.

Basically, I guess I could use accountability too? That would be grand.

I LIKE REALLY HAVE TO PEE.


Okay so this post was really short and I'm sorry but I'm starting to like stray from my train of thought..... I'm so tired....

OH SONG THING.

8- A song that reminds you of your "first love."

I don't like those suspicious quotation marks....

BUT SO UM I'm just gonna go with my first crush and do this song..

Yeah. I had a serious crush on David Cook when he was on American Idol. I was so embarrassed by it, too... But Grace totally knew about it. Sister's always know these things.

ANYWAY that's all I have for today...

Gurls, I love you and I'll talk to you next week- and ROSIE I can't wait for you post tomorrow, it better be gify.

xoxo,
Mercy